Page 235 of Unravelling The Beast

“Most seemed down for it, but I started questioning things when they started to become a little younger and one in particular was very fucking different from the rest.”

I stay quiet, waiting for him to carry on and he takes a moment before finally letting it out.

“It seemed like I was fucking a lifeless body. She was rigid and didn’t make eye contact. I had a feeling I was doing something wrong; I didn’t even fucking come and backed away from her as I realised, maybe these women weren’t even supposed to be here, at least not some of them.”

My eyes widen again and my mouth drops open.

“Wait. What?”

His jaw tenses with irritation and he bites down on his words while looking away.

“I found out sometime later that I was fucking some women in the sex trafficking system.”

I just stare at him with absolute shock.

“Holy shit, Arlo.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, clearly disgusted.

“When I told my parents, they seemed shocked, like they never knew and they said they wouldn't take me again. It really messed me up for a long time, and the older I became, the more angry I grew because of it, and somehow I persuaded them to never take over New York’s sex trafficking system. We made a vowel there and then that the Hayes would never be known for rape or human trafficking.”

He gradually opens his eyes and looks into mine before continuing.

“Before I killed my dad, I had just discovered that he was indeed taking over it in our name, and I was so fucking enraged. You were supposed to be the first to be trafficked in our name in order to teach me a lesson.”

I just stare, unable to get any words out, but my heart throbs for him and the shit he has been through at the hands of his father.

“Now you might kind of understand why I am who I am. There’s no excuse for what I am, really, but my childhood was very different from most kids, and that’s only a tiny fraction of it. I’m disgusted that I allowed it to happen and even agreed to it just to please my parents. In the end, they got what they wanted. Regardless, I’m an insane fucking beast and I relished the feeling of it.”

My eyes soften and I speak gently.

“Arlo, you were young and naive and werejust following orders from people you trusted; you didn’t know any better or even know what you were doing. You were used and abused in the same way those poor women were.”

He shakes his head, not making eye contact.

“I don’t want pity, Wren; I’m a fucking monster on the inside and out and there is no more fucking to it. I can never take away any of the shit I have done.”

I bring my hand to his face and make him look at me.

“That’s far from the truth, baby; just you not taking control of that side of the business and refusing to agree to it shows exactly who you are. You’ve made mistakes, but not all of this is your fault. Your parents should have known better and should have done better by you. They failed you, but you never failed; always remember that. What is important now is that you continue to move on from the past and better yourself, Arlo.”

His eyes search mine, studying me as we stay silent until he finally speaks again.

“I’ve never told anyone that, not even Bridge.”

My brows crease with confusion and I tilt my head to the side.

“You didn’t open up to her?”

He gives a small head shake.

“My relationship with Bridget wasn’t like ours. I kept my shit together. We spoke differently, even fucked differently and I kept my true self hidden from her a lot to please her. I didn’t want her to see the fucking monster that is inside of me. She didn’t like it, even though she knew exactly who I was. She never completely accepted my way of life, especially when Cree was born, and I didn’t blame her. She had every right to feel the way she did.”

He elevates his chin and gives my hips a gentle squeeze.

“I suppose when I met you, that part of me that I had tried to suppress for many years came out because I was in a very dark place, but I soon realised that you didn’t judge me regardless of who or what the fuck I was, the good, bad, or the ugly and it was fucking refreshing.”

I rub my hands up his bare, inked chest until they are on his neck and I dip my head, bringing my mouth close to his.

---