Page 85 of Jack of Diamonds

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

“We can sit here all day,” she said, looking bored. “I still get paid the same.”

Jack...Chess...Ransom...where are you guys?I wondered.Callister? Hatter? Can anyone hear me?I brought my eyes back to the nurse standing in front of me.

“What happens if I refuse?”

“I call in some orderlies to give you an injection.” Her eyes were cold and unyielding. “It’s your choice. The pill has fewer side effects.”

I reluctantly took the cup and tossed the pills into my mouth, feeling them hit the back of my throat like tiny bullets.

“Swallow them,” she commanded, handing me a plastic cup of water. The bitter taste of the anti-psychotics filled my mouth as I complied, acutely aware that any sense of control was slipping through my fingers.

“Good girl,” she said curtly.

I loved it when Callister said that to me...but I hated hearing it from this sour-faced woman who clearly hated her job.

“Alright, now take off your shirt and top and hand them over. You can change into this.” She handed me a thin, scratchy hospital gown and a pair of non-slip socks. I hesitated for a moment, my mind racing with memories of Jack’s hands roaming over my body, his breath hot against my skin as he whispered dark promises into my ear. I thought about being consumed by him...by all of my wicked boys. Even my warm, soft Balenciaga sweatshirt I’d conjured out of thin air was better than this.

But now, in this sterile room, I was at the mercy of strangers.

And I couldn’t hear Jack anymore.

“Please,” I begged softly, “Can’t I have some privacy?”

“Privacy is a luxury you lost when you came here,” the nurse replied in a bored tone. As her overworked and underpaid gaze bored into mine, I reluctantly disrobed and put on the hospital gown, feeling utterly exposed and humiliated.

At least the paparazzi couldn’t see me like this.

She led me down a dim grey hallway lined with locked doors. My legs were starting to feel wobbly beneath me, the drugs already beginning to take effect. My heart pounded in my chest, each step I took heavy with dread.

“Here we are,” she announced, opening the door to a small room that looked more like a prison cell. I glanced inside, my stomach churning at the sight of the stark white walls and floor. I began to feel claustrophobic the second the door slammed shut behind me, the sound echoing through my very bones.

This was now my prison, my purgatory.

Hopelessness and despair coursed through me as I slid down to the smooth tiled floor, my knees drawn up to my chest. My stomach was upset.

This was my reality now—trapped in a world that refused to understand me, with only the memories of my wicked boys of Wonderland to keep me company.

Being with them had changed me in ways I was only now beginning to comprehend. I didn’t belong here anymore, in this world that had once seemed so full of possibility. My heart remained behind, torn into five pieces and scattered across a land of magic and danger.

A single tear slid down my cheek as I gazed around at the mess I’d made of my life. The ache inside was a physical pain, one that told me I might never again feel whole.

I’d made my choice, and now I would have to live with the consequences. Even if I got out of this asylum, it still meant an eternity of longing for a world I could never return to.

As the drugs gradually pulled me under, I started to feel nauseous. One wave after another washed over me, bathing me in sweat and sickness.

The sudden urge to puke hit me so fast that I didn’t have time to call for someone to let me out. My stomach lurched and I hurled a thick, nasty, glob of something awful. The second I saw what came out of me, I screamed bloody murder.

It was the blue pill, wiggling on the ground as it grew bigger and longer and turned into a glittering fat worm.

And it was inching its way towards the door.

Still screaming my head off, I kicked it against the wall, then nudged it like a slimy hockey puck over to my twin bed. I lifted up the corner, then slammed the leg down on the blue worm as hard as I could.

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