Page 107 of Entangled

“He still had things to work through, as we all do,” I retort. “Lucien has a beautiful and rare ability to see the good and positive light in the world, even when terrible things happen. But he still had questions, concerns, worries that we worked through together.”

“Can I take a stab and say they centered around his romantic life?” Dominic asks dryly.

My gaze lifts in puzzlement. Lucien’s sessions are none of Dominic’s business—but many of them did gravitate toward sex and romance. Submission. Masochism.

Talking him through it was almost the death of me.

Dominic snorts, and I narrow my gaze on him.

He quirks a brow. “Did you ever think that he was just in love with you from day one and spent every session trying to seduce you?”

I swallow hard.

“All I know is he came out of your first session into the barracks and spent three damn hours talking about you. Jayk nearly threw him through the window.” Dom rolls his eyes, and in spite of myself, my lips twitch. “You did right by him, Jasper. You talked to your supervisor. You had him moved to another shrink. You resigned. And you both still have these feelings.”

I rub my hands over my face. I tried. I do know that. Weakness and all, I have truly tried to resist him.

“I’m not a shrink, Jasper. I don’t know the ins and outs, but be honest—do you really think you’d cause more harm if you were together? Because Eden is right about that. Being apart is killing both of you.” His eyes are soft and unbearably understanding, and I have to look down as mine sting.

Lucien’s yellow flower pin gleams in the moonlight, and I squeeze my eyes shut at the sight. Several tears squeeze out too.

Ever since Eden arrived at Bristlebrook, I’ve begun to question this very thing. Questioneverything. I’d worried that Lucien’s love for me was more an obsession. That, almost, was easier to dismiss as false. But the fact that he could feel easily and so naturally for Eden, and still have feelings for me, tells me something different.

Lucien is a secure, emotionally stable, highly intelligent man with an infinite capacity for love.

He’s expressed his informed opinion now, with all the facts, and he still wants me.Lovesme. Would my love in return truly do him harm?

Or is it, as Eden said, the thing that could free us both from our misery?

Perhaps I need a new vow for myself. One devoted to only bringing Lucien joy. Surely that can’t be sinful? My lust may be depraved—but my love is only pure.

Finally, I pull my handkerchief from my pocket and wipe my eyes, then return it. I look at Dominic and nod.

“Thank you,” I murmur, putting as much gratitude into the words as will fit. Dominic and I have talked over the years—as equals and comrades of a sort. Brothers, perhaps, after so long in this home together.

But this may be the first time I’ve truly thought of him as a friend.

“I will speak with Lucien when I return.” I quirk a smile, a low buzz of anticipation working its way through my veins. “I think I have some groveling to do.”

Dominic studies me hard, like he might be able to pinpoint any reservations with his gaze alone.

Then he shakes his head, a wry laugh falling out of him. “I don’t have any advice for that one.”

I watch him thoughtfully. There’s been a heaviness to his steps ever since we left Bristlebrook, but rather than easing when we found Eden, it seems to have grown more burdensome.

“Dominic, was I wrong to invite the civilians back to Bristlebrook?”

It’s a carefully asked question. Bristlebrook is my home, after all. Still, Dominic has led us faithfully for years, and I know his concerns about newcomers—and I just placed ninety-two right under his nose.

His laugh fades, and his gaze becomes introspective. Sightless. Every line of his face grows grim.

“You weren’t wrong,” he says finally. “It was the only right thing to do.”

“You have reservations.” It’s not a question.

Dominic blows out a long, hard breath. When he looks at me, I see every shade of fear in his eyes.

“How am I meant to provide for that many people, Jasper? How the fuck am I meant to keep them safe and fed when there’s an army coming for us? Heather said they have another three hundred-plus men back in their Den.”