Page 45 of Intertwined Hearts

As much as I tried to think about my job, my mind kept racing back to the baby. That could have been my son.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Jackie being so upset about the party the night before had anything to do with her miscarriage. If that was partly to blame, then it was partly my fault she lost the baby. She was mortified when I told her people were coming by. I had no idea she’d react that way or I’d have never planned the party. I thought I was doing a good thing. If I’d told her friends were just coming over, I don’t think she would have taken it the same way, but when I told her it was to celebrate her thirtieth birthday, she fell apart.

The tears had barely dried by the time the first person showed up. She pouted and moped all night. Every reply she made to me was snapped. She didn’t want to open her gifts, but was coerced to by us all. I took pictures and captured a scowl on her face in each one. I couldn’t tell if she was mad, or just upset by the surprise. Or maybe there was another reason she had been so adamant about not celebrating.

When everyone left, she took a shower, got in the bed, and turned her back to me. When I touched her, she shrugged my hand off. I touched her again, and she turned into me like the Tasmanian devil, ready to rip my head from my shoulders. I’d never seen her that upset. Well, not until this morning. I had no idea what to do to make things right again.

During my lunch break, I decided to test the waters and send a text to her to find out how she was doing. It took a while for her to reply, but she eventually said she was okay. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to hear her voice.

“Hey, Hunter.” I didn’t expect her to sound chipper, and she was far from it.

“Hi, baby. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Did everything go okay at the doctor this morning?”

“Um.” She paused. The seconds ticked by while I waited for her to tell me something. Her delay spoke volumes. “We should talk about it later. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Not a problem. What are you up to now?” I asked.

“I’m on my way home. I’m exhausted.”

“Get something to eat, then try to get some rest. It’s been an awful morning. I’ll bring home some take-out, so don’t worry about cooking. I love you, darling.”

She didn’t reply right away. I could hear her sniffles and knew she was crying. It broke my heart to know she was suffering so much.

“I love you too,” she managed to get out.

****

By the time I got home, the place was quiet. I set the food in the kitchen, then made my way to our bedroom, where I found Jackie, sound asleep. I quietly removed my clothes and climbed in bed next to her.

When I woke up, Jackie was gone. I rolled over and looked at the clock. I couldn’t believe I’d slept for two hours. I pulled my jeans on, then strolled into the kitchen, where I could hear movement. My eyes landed on her when I reached the doorway. She turned and looked at me with glazed eyes. My eyes were locked on hers. I walked over to her, held her face in my palms, and lowered my lips to hers. Her hands reached up, and she placed them on top of mine before she broke our kiss and rested her head on my shoulder.

“It’s not good, Hunter,” she muttered.

My arms wrapped around her body holding her where she belonged, close to me.

“We’ll figure everything out.”

“I’m no good. I might not ever be able to have a baby.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Jackie

Hunter deserved better. He deserved a woman who could give him what he wanted most. I wished I was her, but I wasn’t sure we were right for each other anymore, or that I was right for anyone. All day I thought about how unfair it would be for me to stay in a relationship with him. It was selfish to hold his heart captive based on a slim chance of hope, just to shatter it when we found out I couldn’t give him a child. I always knew I didn’t deserve him. This just made it that much clearer.

I told Hunter what happened at the doctor’s office and what she said to me about the scar tissue. I watched his face redden as I told him what Landon had done to me to put me in this god-forsaken position.

“Every time I hear you say anything about that piece of shit ex of yours, I wish I’d have just stomped his head into pulp,” he said. Hunter was incensed. “That fucker doesn’t deserve to take another fucking breath.”

“I’d be foolish to think you’d stay with me. And I swear, I’ll understand if you decide this is too much.” I barely managed to get the words out of my tightening throat.

“What are you talking about?” he hissed through his teeth.

“I know how much a family means to you, Hunter. I don’t know if I can give you that. It’d be easier if we went our separate ways now.” I swiped my tears from my face. “Do it now instead of waiting for a few more years to find out nothing worked.”

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