Page 18 of The Queen of Nightmares

"Jack," my voice was a croak as I reached out to him.

He took my fingers in his, shaking his head. He helped me to my feet and led me over to the counter, lifting me and then setting me on the cold tile. His jaw was locked tight, the muscles there bunched and straining under the pressure. I tried to reach for him again, but he stepped back from my grasp, instead turning to grab my toothbrush, readying it for me.

"Please," I hiccuped.

"I'm sorry," he ground out.

"It's not your fault, Jack." My voice was a plea. I desperately wanted Jack to hold me, to tell me everything would be okay. But I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"I should have fucking killed him!" He finally shouted after I finished rinsing the toothpaste from my mouth.

"If you had, then you would be the one in prison." My gentle reminder did nothing to calm the rage burning in his eyes.

He finally looked at me and ran a fingertip over my lips as I fought my own internal battle between my fear and the need to keep Jack calm. "But, then, you would be safe, little Queen."

I shook my head. "From one monster, maybe. But what about the rest of them? I need you here, with me. I need you to be my hero."

He gave a derisive snort as he scooped me back into his arms and carried me to our bed. "I've never been anyone's hero, baby."

"You're mine," I whispered, thinking of all he had done for so many people. The way he protects the town. The way he refused to kill Daisy after everything she had done. "You are more a hero than you could possibly know, Jack."

Before he could deny it again, I leaned into him, kissing his stubbled jaw and moving to his lips. He accepted my kiss, but only for a brief moment before pulling away. I could tell he planned to leave me in our bed alone. He was putting me to bed like a child, but he was going to leave. My heart squeezed in my chest as he stood to his full height after pulling the blanket over me. I bit my lip to stop the trembling, but I couldn't keep the tears from filling my eyes.

"Jack, please don't do this," I whispered, fighting to hold back the sob that wanted to escape my chest. I needed him now more than any other time. After spending the last two months as little more than roommates that shared a bed, I couldn't take more distance from him. It felt too much like rejection all over again.

He hardly glanced my way as he seemed to firm his resolve, stepping away from the side of the bed and walking toward the door. I couldn't take it. My heart was breaking into pieces, and I wasn't sure if they'd ever be able to be put back together again.

I pushed back the covers that he had just tucked around me and got onto my knees. I would only plead with him once. If he walked away, I wouldn't forgive him. I wouldn'ttrust himanymore.

ChapterThirteen

THE QUEEN OF NIGHTMARES

“Jack,” I called out softly as he approached the door. He paused without turning around, his hands gripping both sides of the doorway until his knuckles turned white. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to hold himself back from turning around or if he was that anxious to leave.

“I love you more than I ever could have imagined. But,” I closed my eyes, knowing that my next words could destroy everything. He might never forgive me. I never wanted to see the look of hatred on his face in my direction, but I had to stand up for myself.

When I opened my eyes again, I could see he was glancing over his shoulder, his whole body tense as if readying himself for a blow. My voice was soft in the quiet room, and I could hear his ragged breathing. “If you walk out that door, I’ll never forgive you. You’ll be ripping my heart out. I know why you feel you need to leave, but we can’t do this. We can’t go back to how it’s been these last couple of months.” I took a deep breath as he turned around to face me, his nostrils flaring and his eyes narrowed, laser-focused on me as I begged on my knees.

“Are you threatening me, little Queen?” His tone was low, dangerous. He clenched his hands by his sides into fists as his chest heaved.

I shook my head slowly, bringing my hands together to rest in my lap, hoping to still the trembling in them. I looked down at them, seeing the scars there. “No, Jack. I’m not threatening you. I’m making myself a promise. I can’t hold on to a man who doesn’t want to be held onto. I am worth more.” I looked up at him with a tear trailing down my cheek. “You’re the one who taught me that.”

Jack made a strangled sound in the back of his throat as he watched the tear slide across the scar by the corner of my lip before finally falling over. Suddenly, he pushed away from the door and rushed over to me. Both of his large hands gripped the sides of my face as he slammed his mouth on mine. Jack’s kiss was fierce and rough, stealing my breath from my lungs. I tasted the beer he’d barely had a sip from and the saltiness of my tears as his lips moved over mine.

He swallowed my gasp with a growl as I clutched tightly to his shoulders. It felt like I was being swept away by a raging storm, and I never wanted to be drowned so much in my life. I dug my fingernails into his shoulders, hoping that somehow it would be enough to hold him to me forever.

He broke away as suddenly as he had started, and my heart sank to the floor. I didn’t want to live without him. He had become my whole world in such a short amount of time. I didn’t want to walk away. I didn’t want to say goodbye. But I would. For my self-respect. For my self-worth. For my peace of mind. I would leave and never look back.

I tried in vain to hold back my tears, blinking furiously so I wouldn’t lose a single second of seeing his beautiful face before he walked away.

“You won’t leave me,” he snarled, his face so close we shared each other’s air. He was practically panting as his chest heaved with his heavy breaths. I could see how wide his pupils were, nearly drowning out what little color could be discerned in his dark eyes. It wasn’t until that moment I realized he wasn’t angry. He was terrified. “You’remine. You told me that you were mine. You promised me.”

His tone was nothing but accusatory as he growled and snarled, snapping at me like an angry beast. But, just like when we’d first met, I could see the truth that he held inside. In his eyes, I could see the scared little boy he’d once been. The little boy who needed his mother and had been let down time and time again was still there. Only, this time, it was me he was afraid was going to hurt him. My heart ached.

I cupped his jaw with both hands and leaned in even closer, trying to make him see into my heart. “I neverwantto leave you, Jack. Please. Don’t make me leave you to protect myself.”

He closed his eyes and growled, resting his forehead on mine. His voice was hoarse as he spoke. “I need to stop the threats against you, Sally. There are too many—one after another. I’m so scared you’re going to get hurt again or worse, goddamn it. I almost lost you.” He opened his eyes to glare into mine. “And then you threatened to walk away.”

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