“Let me go.” I push his hands off from around my neck. “I’m going to find Mom.”
“You should’ve hit me,” he says, his words coming out a little slurred. “Got yourself a good night’s sleep out of it, I’m sure.”
I throw my shoulder into him as I move out of his space. I walk up the stairs, leaving him behind, knowing like a dog with a bone, he will always come back.
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.
“Oh, I forgot,” he calls up after me. “Your mother took Kayla to your aunt’s house. I guess they’ll be back later on.”
EPILOGUE
RHYS
EIGHT MONTHS LATER
Samuel nudges my shoulder. “How many times are you going to check that thing?”
I wait as the flight path screen shows up to let us know how long we’ve been flying for and just how long we’ve got left before we arrive in Japan.
Fifteen minutes till landing.
I would like to say that after my overdose, my father and I went to family counseling, repaired our differences, and now speak to each other regularly. But that not only would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told, it’s also highly unlikely.
Because Joel Denser is a man who could do no wrong; it’s everybody else who falls short.
Including me.
Especiallyme.
Six months ago, this revelation would have crippled me. It nearly did. But after a lot of work, I’m coming to realize that not everything between my father and I was about my addiction.
Somewhere along the way I forgot that my father and I never really got along. That somewhere in between Kayla being born and me deciding that I enjoyed the way drugs made me feel, I forgot that our father-son relationship had already become non-existent.
His lack of empathy and unrealistic expectations made sure we would never see eye to eye, and when he realized Kayla and I were joined at the hip, regardless of her disability or our age gap, he became jealous.
And what a revelation that was.
One I wouldn’t have ever known about if it wasn’t for my mother’s moment of good conscience when she visited me in the hospital after my overdose. It was unexpected, and seeing her so bound to him, made me choose empathy over apathy when it came to her.
She pretends the conversation never happened, and that she didn’t rat out my dad, and I let her. Because the only thing I want from her is to finally be able to see my sister.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please sit down and fasten your seat belts. Cabin crew, prepare for landing.”
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.
The announcement makes my heart thump against my chest, and I find myself squeezing Lennox’s and Samuel’s hands. In sync, both of them lean in and kiss me on the cheek.
They’re like a well-oiled machine.
If you’d told me six months ago when I was lying in a hospital bed that this would be my life, I would’ve laughed in your face. But these two men changed the game for me.
There’s been a lot of learning for all three of us. And there’s also been a lot of unlearning. It hasn’t been easy, but ask me any day of the week if it’s been worth it, and the answer’s the same.
Always.
I didn’t think we would make it here, but there were perks to being sober for six months, and that included being financially responsible for myself. It meant my dad didn’t control me under the guise of helping me get back on my feet. It meant moving out with my two beautiful boyfriends and starting a life together that is only ours.
It meant learning to live a happy and healthy life. One that increased tenfold the minute I decided to cut him out of my life. When I stopped wanting and needing his approval, I stopped having a point to prove.