Page 72 of Unloved

Lennox’s finger surprises me, slipping between my crease and breaching my hole. “You’re close, aren’t you?” he taunts, finding my prostate. “Come, baby. Come in his mouth,” he coaxes. “I want to see it spilling out from the sides so I can lick it all up.”

I moan at the visual and my whole body strains like a slingshot ready for release.

Lennox shifts me so my back hits the wall, and all I can see is him and Samuel on their knees, both in line with my cock. Together, they devour my aching length, licking and sucking and kissing each other in between.

All tongues and mouths, my orgasm barrels out of me at the sight of them worshiping me like I’m a god, on their knees, fighting over my cock. My chest almost collapses at the lack of air getting into my lungs as my body trembles with the enormity of my release.

No, I’m definitely not a god.

But I’m irrevocablytheirs.

* * *

If I doubted whether or not these men were made for me, the way they could read my every need without me uttering a single word was proof enough.

The edge has been taken off and I’m now out of my head enough to know that we have things to talk about, but whether or not these two men are mine and want to remain so, isn’t it.

The three of us are dry and naked, under the bedding, limbs tangled until you can’t tell whose leg or arm is whose. Lennox is in his favorite place, behind me, and Samuel is tracing the lines on my face with his fingertips, as if committing them to memory, just in case.

Just like at the hospital, I grab Lennox’s hand and have him sign the wordsorryover my chest.

“I know you’re sorry,” he says. “But I don’t think either of us are looking for an apology.”

Sighing, I turn out of his hold and sit up, looking for my cell. I don’t want to sugarcoat it for them, but more than that, I don’t want them to sugarcoat it for me.

I see the pain in their eyes, I recognize their hurt, and I want them to know that my recovery will always depend on knowing the consequences of my actions.

Allthe consequences, not just the dangerous ones.

When I see my cell on the nightstand, I stretch over Samuel and grab it. I want to do this right. I want to be as effective in my communication as possible, and I want Lennox to know how much I mean everything I’ve been feeling.

I sit upright, my lap covered, open my notes app, and begin typing. It takes a while, and Samuel and Lennox just lie there, their arms around my waist, their heads burrowed in my lap. It’s obvious none of us are currently seeking personal space.

After typing for a good ten minutes, I ruffle Lennox’s hair and hand him the phone.

“What’s this?” he asks as both he and Samuel sit up with me.

I point to the top of the screen where I’ve written the instructions. Lennox’s eyes dance across the words, and I have to put my hand over the screen to stop him. I run my fingers up and down his arm.Slow.

He touches his thumb to his chest, his hand spread out like the number five.Fine.

“My first mistake was not telling you both about my father reaching out to me,” he reads. “I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”

At this, Samuel sits up and drags me between his legs, folding his arms around me.

“You’re not a burden,” he whispers before kissing me on the temple.

Lennox continues to read to us what I wrote. “I know this isn’t true, but I always feel like the least put together person in any group setting. That feeling has carried me through almost every relationship I’ve ever had. It’s the main reason why I try to deal with things on my own.”

Lennox’s lips purse, and I know he’s storing up all his rebuttals for every single observation about myself I listed, and I’m looking forward to it.

I’m looking forward to the honesty between us and the weight to lift.

Lennox slides his hands into mine as he keeps reading.

“When they did the psychiatric evaluation at the hospital, it stated that I wasn’t a danger to myself.” His throat bobs. “But I truly don’t know what outcome I would’ve preferred that night.”

Swallowing hard, he looks up at Samuel and me. “And that’s what scares me the most.”

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