Page 43 of Unloved

I’m supposed to meet Arlo for a workout and Jenika for breakfast. And after yesterday’s message from my dad and the night spent with Samuel and Lennox, both of those things are high on my priority list.

But not as high as wanting to stop time and stay right here in this moment. I want it to be the three of us in a different world, waking up tangled up in one another, hands and legs, mouths and tongues, with nowhere to be and nothing else to do.

But that isn’t real life, not yet anyway, and it won’t be if I don’t get my ass out of bed and start my day. Opening my texting app, I tell them my plans for the day.

Me: I have a workout with Arlo and then I’m meeting with my sponsor, Jenika.

I ignore the shame that comes with my admission and swing my legs off the edge of the bed so I don’t have to meet their gazes.

“You have the same sponsor as Arlo?” Lennox asks, letting me know he’s read the text.

Looking over my shoulder, I nod at him.

“I know you have to go,” he says, “but can I quickly use the bathroom and then we can leave you to get ready?”

I point to the bedroom door, and Lennox scoots himself off the bed and heads to the bathroom, leaving Samuel and me alone in the room. I feel the mattress move and then two hands on my shoulders, similar to the way I touched him last night.

“Promise me something,” he says.

I’m not in the business of promising anyone anything, but I nod anyway.

“If whatever this is doesn’t work for your sobriety, you have to let us know.”

It’s my biggest fear, but I know he’s right. There is nothing more important than my recovery, no matter how good the idea of being wrapped up in these two men seems.

He squeezes my shoulder. “Promise me, Rhys.”

Resigned that I’ll eventually have to make the choice between the two, I drop my chin to my chest and answer him. “I promise.”

“Thank you.”

Throat clogged with so much emotion, I choose to keep my back to him as I hear him shuffle off the bed and walk out of the room. I’m playing with fire, of that I am certain. I just know I’ll never regret it.

* * *

“Rhys,” Jenika greets as I take a seat opposite her at a cafe a few doors down from the gym. “I’m so glad you called.”

“How are you?” I ask her.

“I thought I was the one who asked all the questions.”

I chuckle. “What? I can’t care about your well-being too?”

She pauses and looks at me thoughtfully. “You’re looking really good, Rhys.”

My cheeks heat under her scrutiny. “What is it?”

“You couldn’t even look me in the face when I met you a month ago,” she states. “I can tell a lot has changed for you.”

A lot has changed. I’ve been sober for four months, and for the first time in a long time, I have a support system. I have a daily routine, a solid foundation that makes me feel comfortable and confident to move to the next step.

The plan has always been to eventually support myself, get out from under my dad’s thumb, and finally rekindle my relationship with Kayla. I have no intention of deviating from that plan, and yet my subconscious tells me I already have.

“Things have changed,” I admit. “And I’m not sure if it’s for the better or the worse.”

The waiter interrupts my musings. “Can I get either of you anything?”

“I’ll have an iced coffee,” Jenika says

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