Page 42 of Unloved

“Don’t do that,” I snap. “Don’t talk shit about yourself. If Lennox and I are the only ones feeling it, that’s fine. If it’s complicated, that’s fine. If you just can’t, with or without an explanation, that’s fine.” I lower my voice and try to tone down my anger. “But please,do nottalk shit about yourself.”

His throat bobs, and I can see the effort it takes for him to keep his emotions in check. When he returns his gaze to mine, his eyes are full of pain and regret, and his shoulders rise and fall. “I’ve got nothing, Samuel.”

“Okay.” I put my hands up, surrendering, hating how broken he looks. “I get it. I’m sorry I complicated it.”

He purses his lips together, almost like he’s trying to stop himself from saying more. I give him a few more seconds, hoping he knows he can tell me anything, but when the silence lingers, it gets harder to look at him so beaten down.

“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I’ll get Lennox and we’ll leave.”

Fighting the urge to look back over my shoulder, I walk away from him and back into the bedroom, to find Lennox curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, the comforter pushed to the bottom of the mattress. A humorless chuckle leaves my mouth, because this was not the ending to the night that I had anticipated.

“Stay,” Rhys says from behind me.

When I don’t move or answer, I feel his hands on my back, followed by his head resting between my shoulder blades. It’s less than five seconds, but my body leans into his touch immediately. Expecting him to turn right back around and leave, I’m shocked when he steps around me and walks to the other side of the bed. We’re now in the same spots Lennox and I were standing in only about forty minutes earlier, except everything feels different.

“Please,” he says as he sits down on the bed, making his intention very clear. “Stay.”

15

RHYS

Asliver of sunlight slips between the curtains, announcing the rise of the sun. Because of the handful of hours I managed to sleep, my body feels like a bag of bricks and I can barely pry my eyes open. It isn’t until I attempt to move that I realize my position on the bed and that of the other two bodies in it.

Last night, I slipped in beside Lennox while Samuel slept on the other side of him. Just like the couch, our bodies filled every inch of the mattress, but it felt like our determination to be next to each other is what made the three of us fit.

This morning I wake up facing both of them: Lennox asleep on his good shoulder and Samuel’s large frame wrapped around him protectively. They’re beautiful together; their connection, even in sleep, effortless. It feels almost sacred to see them like this, in their most vulnerable state, but despite his injury, Lennox’s hand had subtly glided under my shirt during the night and sits splayed against my stomach. It makes me feel tethered to them in a way that has my heart racing in fear and my cock hardening in excitement.

Nervously, I place my hand over his, relishing in the stillness of the morning and the warmth of his skin. I don’t know what I’m doing in this bed with them, but I know I don’t want to be anywhere else.

“Good morning.” Lennox’s croaky and unused voice breaks the silence. I drag my eyes away from our hands to find him smiling at me, all lazy and sleepy like. “I’m glad you didn’t sleep on the couch by yourself.”

It’s all I needed to hear, and somehow he knew that.

I slide my fingers through his and squeeze, hoping he knows just how much I appreciate him and Samuel.

“Yesterday, the audiologist gave me a list of local places that teach American Sign Language,” he says, completely unprompted. “She said I could learn online, but she thought it would be a good idea for me to meet other deaf people.”

I happen to agree with her, but something tells me he isn’t looking for a two-way conversation this morning.

“She also said my voice could change over time,” he continues. “It’s called a deaf accent. For some people it’s so slight nobody would notice, and for others it’s more obvious. Did you know that happens?”

I shake my head. I know what a deaf accent is, obviously—Kayla has one—but I didn’t know hearing loss later in life affected your speech.

A shift in the mattress causes me to look behind Lennox and to Samuel, who’s no longer sleeping. Half of his face is buried in the side of Lennox’s neck and his blue eyes stare right at me.

If Lennox notices Samuel’s awake, it doesn’t deter him from sharing details of yesterday’s appointment.

“She doesn’t think my hearing is coming back,” Lennox reveals, and this time there’s no disguising the pain in his voice. “I didn’t expect it to. Not really. But, fuck, it still kinda hurts.”

Hearing the anguish in his voice breaks my heart, and it seems Samuel feels no different—both of us on the same wavelength, wanting to comfort him in any way possible. Without a second thought, I bring our joined hands to my lips and place a kiss on his knuckles. After last night, I’m learning how to follow my gut, and back to them is where it continues to lead me.

I watch as Samuel tightens his hold on Lennox and presses a kiss to the side of his neck, reassuring him of his presence. It’s a new development between them, the blatant affection, and my stomach somersaults in excitement. I could watch them together for a lifetime and never tire of the sight of it.

The three of us lie here in silence as Lennox sifts through his thoughts, and I’m surprised when Samuel reaches for me, running his fingers down the side of my face.

Lennox’s eyes track the movement, and it seems to distract him from his thoughts enough to smile at me. I don’t think any of us was expecting this or even know what it is, but it’s happening. I feel like a tumbleweed in the wind, flying with no direction, but knowing I couldn’t stop.

The sound of my alarm clock blaring through the room startles me and pops the bubble surrounding us. Turning onto my back, I stretch to reach it and switch it off.

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