Page 22 of Seduce

Her brother nods under the harsh light of the kitchen. “She’s right. Silla is fine,” he grunts.

Deciding that I’m borrowing trouble, I shake my hands out.

“You’re right. My stomach is just off about it,” I explain.

“Silla was trying to tell us something before she left the other day,” Isaac rumbles, leaning forward. “She said something about not questioning if she appears different. This could mean anything, but something tells me she’s gotten used to being in pain.”

“Yes,” Andrya mutters as she cooks. “The way she held herself was the way someone does when they’re used to everything hurting.”

“Fuck,” Sidney grunts, folding his arms. “I know this was the best decision for her in the long term, because it gets her out of the castle, but she’s been alone with her step-sister for the past two nights. Anything could have happened.”

“Then we’ll deal with it when we see her, apologizing because of the consequences of our words,” Andrya says sharply, shoving the lever for the toaster down with more force than necessary. “No matter how we get her out of that place, there will be more than a few scars involved. I just hope we can put each other back together afterward.”

“We’ll have to,” I say, my stomach beginning to grumble as I can smell the bread toasting and eggs cooking. If I’m hungry, I’ll rally back from this.

Sydney moves to boil water for tea, and I watch how comfortable we all are with each other. We went from barely being able to be around each other, to finding a sense of family together.

It doesn’t make me want to kill the queen any less though.

Seven

SILLA

Moving gingerly, I studiously ignore the pain between my legs, back, and body. Fuck, if I’m honest, I’m in pretty bad shape, and have no idea how I’m going to be expected to function. Holden invited several of his friends to help warm my bed last night.

Usually, I can disassociate from everything because it’s not happening in my room, the only place I can imagine being safe. I guess it’s not a real last hurrah before I leave without disturbing the rest of my peace.

Thankfully, Cinder told one of the healers to tend to me this morning, so I’m not going to scar anywhere. It seems silly, vain even, formeto be concerned with that, but it’s my only source of solace. If no one can see how ugly I am on the inside, how broken, it helps me keep my facade in place.

My step-sister likes to blow my emotional wounds wide open, but I’m getting ready to get started on this mission with the guys and Andrya, and I just can’t get myself sorted. Closing my eyes, I take a shallow breath, testing my pain levels.

My ribs twinge, but it’s manageable. Cinder told them to make sure the bruises couldn’t be seen anywhere my skin would show. As much as she enjoys her punishments, she doesn’t want it to affect her bottom line either. So I’ll have to make sure to wear pants, long skirts, and no tank tops. Thankfully it’s nearly December, so there will be snow on the ground soon, too. The weather is unseasonably warm, so the ground is muddy from all of the rain we’ve been having. Yuck.

I unfortunately have to go shopping once I leave here, because I can’t wear these ridiculous clothes that Cinder insists that I wear. The formal day clothing is stifling, and the heels hurt my abused feet. It’s going to take everything in me not to limp out of here, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this shit up.

I asked, no begged, the healer for pain management, and she denied me. I know that she’s doing her job, but the way she sneered at me, going as far to call me an opiate addict was uncalled for. The only thing I’m addicted to is the sunshine, cool breezes, and imagining the faces of my loves.

They’re the only reason I haven’t ended everything. Cinder doesn’t pay attention to razor blades, or knives with my meals when I eat in my room, etc. I’ve spent a lot of time staring at the razor blades in my bathroom, going as far as to lay them out on my bedspread, but the sad reality is that I’m worried I won’t be able to stop once I begin. So I can’t even get the small bit of relief that cutting would offer me.

Instead, I spend way too much time staring at them, dreaming of the day when the twins, Grayson, Sidney, and Isaac are finally free so I can let go of the tenuous control I’m holding onto. The Queen will never let me go, and happily ever afters ain't meant for me. I must have been born under an unlikely star or something.

“Silla!” Lana and Cinder yell from down the hall, and I sigh. They told me to get ready and wait to be called, but I’m pretty sure they spent the last two hours getting lost in each other and watching one of Cinder’s maids get railed by a passing nobleman as they discussed “royal business.”

I’m sure the guys and Andrya are all panicking that Cinder rescinded her agreement that I join them by now. I need them to be less suspicious of my well-being, not more.

I haven’t bothered sitting down, since it hurts too much. Riding in the car is going to be an exercise in torture, since my entire backside aches after being caned. I swear Cinder always finds a way to marry together her kinky sex fuckery and punishments.

Walking as quickly as I can, I pick up my duffle bag, wishing it was a rolling suitcase. My shoulder pulls my back with it with every step, coupled by the backpack on my other shoulder that’s loaded with my laptop and tech stuff. I was surprised when I came in this morning to find new equipment after breakfast. The note made me roll my eyes:

I won’t have you complain that you failed because you didn’t have the proper equipment. Here is my credit card to purchase whatever else you need.

-Cinder

I don’t plan to use her card unless it’s something that I absolutely need, because this will come back to bite me in the ass.

“I’m here,” I tell them, finding Lana wrapped around Cinder’s waist. Thankfully, they’re both dressed. I heard that there will be dignitaries here all week, so they had to get it out of their system. The rest of the world believes that Cinder and her King are the perfect power couple, which means he will also be traveling back to the castle as well.

As I begin following them to the stairs to make our way to the front doors so I can depart, I hear the booming voice of Charming. I can’t help but smile as Lana and Cinder jump apart. He may have an idea that Cinder fucks around, but doesn’t want to see it.

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