Page 68 of Beautiful Beginning

“Thank you, Mrs. Brown.” Journey smiled. The way she hid all her frustration amazed me.

By looking at her I couldn’t tell that she was anxious about our conversation. Not like I was. It wasn’t like she was counting the seconds until we had time alone to discuss us.

“Here, this is for you.” Mama handed Journey a card. Then said, “And I know your family is here, but I hope we can see you before we pack up and get down the road.” Then if all the seconds on the clock collided, it wouldn’t surprise me. Mama asked, “By the way, what’s next for this dynamic duo?”

Carter whistled and politely opened the car door. I didn’t have the luxury to escape like he did. I stood there staring at Journey, waiting for a syllable, a consonant, an utterance to fall from her lips.

She made no declarations though. Her answer was simpler than the situation. “Time will tell.” Her eyes cut toward me. “I should go find my parents. Make sure they haven’t dragged one another across the arena.” She laughed but Mama stared wide eyed. “Chaz, I’ll catch up with you later.” Her lips met mine but only briefly.

I had my hand on the car door, ready to proceed with the rest of the night when Mama stopped me again.

She cleared her throat. “Not so fast.”

I looked over my shoulder. “Yes?”

“Only time will tell?” She shook her head. “You two haven’t discussed what’s next? Didn’t you say she’s moving to Neveah City.” The crinkle between her brow was deep. “Chaz Boris Brown. You better not be leading that girl on.”

My head jerked back, and I dropped the handle of the door. “Leading her on?”

“If you have no plans of making this work. Coming to a compromise. Something that doesn’t look like the two of you hundreds of miles apart. Let her go. She’s already dealing with her parents divorcing. She doesn’t need to deal with an indecisive boyfriend too.”

My eyes propped open. “Indecisive? What if long distance works?”

From behind her my dad barked, “Long distance.” With a chuckle, he shook his head.

Up until then I didn’t think it was a crazy idea. Not the most ideal. But not insane. Not the way my parents made it seem as they discussed it. Like us together miles apart was the worst thing she would have to endure. But what about the two of us not being together? Wouldn’t that be worse?

For me, it would be.

ChapterThirty-One

Journey

Going home for summer was always bittersweet. There was freedom from classes, homework, projects, practice. But there was separation from best friends, partying, hanging out. Being back home with parents—being treated like a kid again—could be top three among the worst things to experience in life.

I didn’t consider how I’d feel leaving campus the last time as a student. How sad it’d be to walk through the courtyard one last time. To pass the café where I spent too much money on decent coffee. I paused in front of the library. I wouldn’t miss the time I spent there. Hours studying. But I would miss the building. The time I spent with the people studying beside me.

Then I made it across campus. To the dorms, where I wanted one last look at where it all started. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I felt the air struggling to fill my lungs. The sun beaming on my back didn’t help what already felt like my body melting into a pool of emotions.

“This is it.” I stood in front of the building.

A swell of students, boxes in hand, parents behind them filtered passed me. And when one hovered before me I smiled.

“One year down,” she said with a semi-smile. One I recognized. She was in that bittersweet moment. For a few months, she’d be leaving it all behind.

“Thought I would have seen more of you this year.” I stepped to the side and waited for her to join me.

“I expected I’d have more questions.” She laughed. “That first day it was all so overwhelming.”

“One thing I’ve learned is to get rid of expectations.” It was the biggest lesson of my last year of college. “The next three years of college will be much smoother if you do that.”

Her smile reached her eyes, and when she said, “Thanks. I’ll do that,” I felt a little lighter walking away from the dorms.

I had to utter, “No expectations,” as I left campus. With me and Chaz’s conversation finally about to happen I didn’t want to set myself up for failure. I didn’t want to go into it thinking we’d come to the same conclusion.

Although, my decision varied minute by minute. And the closer I got to my apartment the more I didn’t want to decide. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him we had to go our separate ways. That as Monroe put it,who wants a long-distance lover.I also didn’t want to be the one to tell him we had to at least try. Because like Lauren insisted,what’s the point of all this if you walk away easily in the end.She tried convincing me I had more fight than that.

I wasn’t sure if I did. Or not.

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