Page 6 of Anger

My name hangs there, a heavy weight between us, and when I finally see tears roll down her cheeks, I’m desperate to wipe them away.

I never want to hurt her, so maybe they’re happy tears.

Please, let them be happy.

Everything is okay when she touches me.

I’m okay.

The weekends don’t matter.

Not when I know she’ll be waiting for me when they’re done.

She’ll always be waiting for me.

It’s the only reason I can bear them.

“Damon, I’m sorry…”

For what?

She doesn’t finish the sentence, just leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my lips as if that answers every question, as if that is her response.

“Sorry for what?” I ask, but she’s already opened the closet door and is practically running from the classroom.

I’m left standing in the dark.

Alone.

With all the words I screwed up floating around me in the same jumble they were in my head.

They weren’t enough.

I’m not enough.

But that can’t be true, can it?

Over the next few weeks, I found out it is true. Emily pushed both Ezra and me away. She left to travel, and we left for college.

All I had left was the sound of her phone ringing, but she never answered.

“Hey,” Ezra pats me on the shoulder to get my attention. I look up from where I’m sitting on the side of my bed, phone in hand, my thumb hovering over the call button to try to reach Red again.

“We need to go, Damon. William’s here to take us for the weekend.”

My teeth slam together, my jaw as tight a line as Ezra’s. These weekends have become unbearable. Especially since Red’s no longer here to kiss away the bruises.

“Give me a minute,” I answer, still staring at the screen, willing her to answer when I call this time.

Ezra notices, a heavy sigh blowing over his lips.

“Let her go, man. She’s not worth it.”

Except she is.

But he doesn’t know it’s my fault she ran and won’t speak to us.

Red left because of me.

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