Page 42 of By Your Side

What am I doing with Owen? What am I thinking about creating new traditions when I had the most amazing person and life. A year is not enough time to honor him and here I am contemplating letting someone else in.

twenty-four

Owen

Staring after Adeline, I resist the urge to follow her. The photos on the page showed a beautiful life that had been mostly abstract until that moment. Watching their life and love unfold over those pages was emotional.

Her love for him was palpable at the small smiles as tears flowed down her cheeks, fingers stroking gently over each photo.

I know that if it were possible, she would change the way things went so they could still have their life together and it’s a hard pill to swallow knowing the woman who is stealing my heart would change her life in a heartbeat if she could.

Fleetingly I felt jealous, but that’s a ridiculous emotion. Scott isn’t my competition. He’s part of her heart and part of the reason she is the person she is today.

Closing my eyes, I think about how much she has changed even since coming here. The circles are gone from under her eyes and her positive attitude glows even more than it did.

Standing, I move to her tree and see the same hints of the life she held before. Ornaments from various vacation spots, ornaments commemorating milestones, and even one in the back with a photo of her and Scott.

Her life before now has helped create the woman I am falling for and to wish that away would take away the person she is.

The love she has for Scott doesn’t diminish her ability to live life to its fullest, if anything she probably appreciates life more.

Taking a deep breath, I move to the picture window and look out at the stars.

Scott’s love for Adeline is beautiful, and I am not afraid of it. I am happy if she can share her heart with me alongside Scott. Love should never be fragile, and my heart is definitely not. If I’m in this, I need to share space with her past, not shy away from it.

twenty-five

Adeline

Wiping my eyes, I flip through the scrapbook for a third time. I’m about halfway through when a soft knock on the door pulls my attention away.

Owen.

The fact he’s still here is impressive. I don’t think many men would have stayed.

“Come in.” My voice is a little hoarse, but the door opens slowly, Owen’s large frame filling the doorway.

“I brought you some water.” He walks over, handing me the glass.

Taking it, I say, “Thank you.”

He nods, his expression thoughtful as he glances down at the open page, the picture one from our trip to Germany two years ago.

“May I sit?”

Tucking my legs underneath me, I nod.

He settles next to me on the chaise, gesturing to the scrapbook, and I nod at his silent question. My eyes refuse to leave his face as he flips through the pages of the life I shared with Scott, his expression soft.

“This is an amazing gift. He really put so much thought and work into this. It’s beautiful, just like the love you have for each other.” He closes it and hands it back to me. “I know I can never understand the emotions you’re feeling about losing the life you had and starting over, but I do understand that Scott is always going to hold your heart and I want you to know that I will never make you feel like that’s not okay. If we progress in our relationship, I am more than happy to share that space and I’m happy to talk about your life with him or anything else.”

His eyes are soft, exploring mine before he reaches his hand out, placing it over mine.

Licking my lips, I let out a long sigh. “Thank you for understanding.”

He helps me up, opening his arms. Stepping into them, I swallow the guilt.

Scott would only want me to be happy. It’s all he ever wanted. The man I loved would never want me to feel guilty about that.

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