Page 33 of By Your Side

His brows pinch together as he turns to grab his spare tire. Taking a deep breath, I push aside the way having his arms around me felt. “What’s next?”

He walks me through the rest of the tire change, encouraging as I get it in its place and replace the nuts.

As we get back into the cab of the truck, I’m more aware of his every movement and the looks he casts my way.

nineteen

Adeline

My bedroom door opens after a soft knock, Mom’s head peeking into the room. My heart feels raw after a sleepless night. Dream after dream about my last morning with Scott.

“I brought you some coffee and a breakfast sandwich your friend Elise dropped off.” She comes to sit on the edge of my bed, her hand sweeping some hair off my forehead.

Sitting up, I lean into her, gratefully accepting the coffee. “I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

My voice is hoarse, dry from a night of tossing and turning and crying.

“I know, sweetheart. It’s hard to make sense of why someone as wonderful as Scott was taken so soon.” Mom rubs my back as I sip the coffee Elise dropped off. It tastes amazing and helps ground me.

“People always say stuff happens for a reason. I don’t know if I believe it, but I have to hope that there was something mystical at work. Otherwise I just feel so angry.” Biting into the muffin Mom hands me, my eyes sting as tears well. The muffin is delicious but sits a little heavy in my stomach. Washing it down with coffee, I meet Mom’s gaze. “Most days I do okay. I have done the work, but today—I just wish I could see him one more time. Hug him a little harder. Tell him I love him.”

“Those feelings make sense. He knew how much you loved him. And even though you can’t see him, the most important part of him is in your heart. The memories and love you shared.” Mom stands, bending down to kiss the top of my head. “Take your time. Dad is outside already. You know how he can’t sit still. Elise said that she and Raelynn would be back at twelve-thirty.”

Nodding, I watch the door shut behind her. Gazing around my room, nothing in here is from the time I shared with Scott except for some pictures on my dresser. Pictures from our engagement and our wedding. The love in our eyes radiates from the photos and I can’t help but smile at the one. My head is tilted back in laughter, Scott’s expression one of pure mischief. He was always making me laugh.

I quickly shower and change, grabbing Scott’s ashes from the drawer they were sitting in. By the time I get outside, everyone I asked to join me is here.

And next to them is a stunning memorial garden Dad started on the moment my parents arrived.

Raelynn and Elise hug me, murmuring words of comfort before I kneel in front of the willow tree sapling. We were married under a willow tree; it only feels fitting to have one here.

Mother Nature has been generous to me with the weather. Normally there would be snow on the ground, but aside from it being a cold day, the snow has held off.

My family and friends drop to the ground around me, their silent support exactly what I needed at his funeral last year instead of the spectacle his mother turned it into.

Shoving thoughts of that aside, I dig into the ground by the willow tree and gently place the box of Scott’s ashes inside the hole.

As I cover the box, I think about our life together and find myself full of gratitude that I had the time I did with Scott. Will I ever think it was enough, no, but we had a wonderful, happy life together and I won’t waste it away being angry it was cut shorter than I ever expected.

Snow starts to fall around us and I can’t help but laugh. “Well, I guess nature has decided she’s given me enough grace.”

We head into the house, Mom turning on the kettle to make tea.

As I’m about to tell Raelynn and Elise the story of how I met Scott, there’s a knock on the door.

“How did anyone get past those monster dogs of yours?” Dad quips.

Opening the door, I’m surprised to see Mrs. Hannigan, the florist, holding a massive bouquet of chrysanthemums. Kane and Stella are lying on the porch out of the snow.

“Hi, dear, these are special order for you.” She hands them over to me before bending to grab a bag I missed at her feet. “And this is from Cliff’s Bar. Special order as well.”

She gives me a warm smile before handing the dogs a treat each and heading back to her car.

Hauling in the delivery, I set everything down on the counter. “Mrs. Hannigan bribed the dogs with treats.”

Searching the bag, I find a card and open it.

Adeline,

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