Page 36 of Why Not Me?

“Stay the night.” I angle my body to look at him as he drives me home. “I don’t want this night to end, I want you to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep, and the first thing I see when I wake up.”

Landon, looks at me before returning his focus to the road. “Would you judge me if I told you I have a bag in my trunk?” He laughs.

He smirks as I giggle and shake my head.

“Maybe a little, but obviously we both had the same thought.” I take his hand and hold it for the rest of the drive.

Back at my condo, I pick up Blade and cuddle him to me. His rumbly purr is a soothing sound in the quiet of my home. Setting him on the floor, I feed him and then lock up.

Landon follows me through my condo, his hand resting on my lower back. Holding up a finger, I excuse myself to the bathroom where I take my birth control pill and chug a glass of water.

Taking a deep breath, I strip naked.

Landon is on the other side of the bathroom door. He’s probably wearing his usual pajamas of sweats and no shirt. My heart pounds in my chest as I bounce on the balls of my feet. Shaking my hands at my sides, I close my eyes. This has always been the easy part for us, but our circumstances were so different back then. It’s not wrong anymore. Maybe Landon will find me boring. I’m not a strictly missionary type of girl, but I’m no sex goddess either.

I summon up my confidence and open the door. Landon turns to me, his eyes widening when he sees me. He’s wearing a pair of black sweats that hang low on his hips. His body is more toned now that he’s older, that sexy V defined in a way it wasn’t seven years ago.

Crossing the room, I press my body into him and slide my hands into his waistband to cup his ass. I tilt my head back and wait until he lowers his head down to mine, kissing me. He slides his tongue against mine, his intoxicating taste fueling me.

Shoving his pants down his legs, I wrap my hand around his cock and start pumping my fist. Licking my lips as precum glistens on the tip, I kneel down and wrap my lips around him. Swirling my tongue around the head of his cock, I look up and suck.

Landon’s head drops back as I take him all the way to the back of my throat, cupping his balls in my hand as I swallow.

“Holy shit,” Landon groans, his hands winding into my hair.

I devour him, loving the way he responds to me.

Pouting when he pulls his hips away from me, I giggle as he tosses me onto the bed and drops his pants the rest of the way.

I can’t tear my eyes away from him as he picks up my right leg and kisses his way up my body stopping at the apex between my thighs. My heart pounds, my stomach full of butterflies, as he lifts my legs over his shoulders and teases my clit with his tongue as he slides a finger into my pussy. He works me over, remembering every single one of my buttons, until I’m panting.

Landon worships my body in a way I’ve never experienced before. This time is completely different from all our previous ones. They were all hurried, an attempt at sneaking in moments whenever we could.

“Oh God.” He presses one hand down on my stomach, holding me in place as he sucks on my clit and works his fingers until I’m clenching around his finger, an orgasm ripping through my body.

Landon kisses his way up past my stomach, my breasts, my neck until his lips meet mine in a passionate kiss. I can’t tear my eyes away from his as he aligns his body with mine, the head of his dick pressing against me. He thrusts into me, my body clenching around him as I adjust to the intrusion. It’s been months since I’ve had sex and he feels amazing, filling me until I’m quivering with need.

Our eyes are locked as he begins to move, slowly pulling out before thrusting back in hitting my sweet spot. He hums, a low rumble in his throat, as I wrap my legs around his waist and roll my hips.

His movements quicken as I start to clench around him. My body tingling as I can feel the release building until I fall. Landon drops his forehead to mine as his own orgasm follows.

Landon collapses next to me, kissing me as he wraps his arms around me.

“I’ve never stopped thinking about you or us and what we could have had. This feeling, being here with you, is incredible.” His voice is raspy, full of desire.

His words should fill me with warmth, but instead doubt seeps in. The same doubt that I used to have when Landon continued to date Melissa even though he kept telling me he wanted us to be together. Its onset is sudden and paralyzing.

I can’t handle going through losing him again. Being with him isn’t just a fantasy to me, it feels right. But I don’t know if it’s one-sided.

“Landon, I need to know—is this, us, just fulfilling a fantasy? Are we an unrealistic expectation that we’ve clung to over the last seven years because it was something we couldn’t have? I guess I just need to know that this is real. Looking back, I can’t help but think about how you had all those chances to end things with Melissa, but there was always a reason not to. And now we’re here, we’re doing this, and I wonder if I’m going to meet your expectations or if the excitement is gone now that we’re not sneaking around. There is nothing left to stand in our way and is the absence of obstacles going to take away the appeal?” The words spill out, ruining what should be our post-orgasmic bliss, but I can’t help them. I need to know and I refuse to hold in my doubts like I did before.

He cups my cheek, his eyes flicking between mine. “Is this a fantasy? Yes, it is. I’ve dreamt of this moment even when I fought it, when I tried to create a life without you. The only difference is, right now it has transitioned into a reality. A reality I never thought I would get. I know you’re scared, but I’m crazy about you and that’s not going to disappear. I promise.”

I stare at him, his words appeasing me a little. The worry won’t go away immediately, but that’s part of being in a relationship, taking that leap of faith and hoping it works out.

“Okay.” I try to sound sure, but it’s hard to shut the doubt out.

He pulls me closer until there is no space between us. “I know what that means in woman-speak,” he chuckles ruefully, “but let’s look at this as a new relationship instead of one we’re revisiting. We’re starting fresh and we need to build that trust.”

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