Page 31 of Why Not Me?

He bends, brushing his lips against mine. Soft. Slow. Teasing.

Sliding my arms around his neck, I press my body into his and deepen the kiss. I can feel our hearts pounding in sync. Some of the same desperation from that night lingers, but this kiss holds the promise of more. The opportunity to rediscover what we had. My hands tremble where they run through his hair as he slowly pulls back.

My eyes flutter open, meeting his intense gaze.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” My words are a whisper, my heart rampaging in my chest at finally being able to be with him in the way I’ve been dreaming of.

“Do you have plans for dinner?” His voice sends tremors down my spine, thick with want, but he pulls away and puts some distance between us.

Shaking my head, I watch as he goes through the process of closing before taking my hand and leading me out. He locks up, rests his hand on my lower back, and guides me to his car.

I watch him as he gets in the driver’s seat and starts navigating his way through traffic. He has dark circles under his eyes that I didn’t notice at first, his face covered in rough stubble, longer than he normally keeps it.

“I can feel you watching me.” His lips twitch as he glances over at me before redirecting his gaze back to the road and changing lanes.

Biting back a smile, I shrug. “I can’t help it. It’s nice being able to check you out without being flooded by guilt.” Pausing, I try to find the right words to ask him about how weary he looks. I like the scruff, but the bags under his eyes worry me. “You look tired, still sexy, but tired.”

He parks the car in front of a tiny burger joint before angling his body to look at me. “Work has been exhausting lately. I’m ready for a long overdue vacation.”

He fills me in as we sit down, running his hand over his jaw as he goes over some of the interesting clientele he’s been dealing with.

“I bet it makes you miss me, huh?” My grin falls when I see a hint of sadness flash through his eyes.

“I’ve missed you for different reasons than you being an easy client to deal with.” His voice is gruff and I know part of the reason behind the shadows is the silence he endured from me.

Dropping my eyes to the scarred table top, I try to put myself in his shoes. Despite how painful and abrupt it was, he gave me a clean break. I left him in limbo and he patiently, or maybe not so patiently, waited for me to let him know what was happening.

“I know.” My voice holds the burden of everything that’s happened. This transition has been painful for everyone. I’m not sure how we could have managed it any differently, but I hate the weight of sadness he carries.

Before I can continue, the server comes to take our order. Landon doesn’t take his eyes off me as he orders a loaded cheeseburger. Quickly scanning the menu, I pick a grilled chicken burger.

Reaching across the table, I link my fingers with his and hold his gaze. “I realize it wasn’t exactly fair to leave you in limbo. I wasn’t really thinking clearly, I just knew that I needed to have a clean break with Brendan. I guess in my weird logic I felt that telling you what was going on would’ve been too great a temptation.”

“And did you? Did you have a clean break with Brendan?” His eyes are intense as he watches me.

Licking my lips, I nod once before shaking my head. “We’re done and it will stay that way, but we’ve talked. Our breakup was cordial—until it wasn’t. Today was cordial again. He asked about you, us, what was happening there. I told him the truth. Brendan was a part of me for six years, it’s as clean as possible when you lived with someone . . . loved someone for that long.” I try to maintain a neutral tone, but I know some of the sadness I feel over the end of my six-year relationship lingers in the words.

Landon breathes out a sigh. “I never thought about it that way. I’ve never loved someone other than you, even though I tried with Melissa. After I met you I realized that there was something missing there. I loved parts of her, of us, but it wasn’t actual love.”

“I know this is hard for you to hear, but I love Brendan. I’m just not in love with him. My feelings are stronger for you, we were in love.” Leaning forward, I look at him, pleading for him to understand. “That being said, we can’t jump in right where we left off.”

Just thinking about how we did things last time makes me feel sick. I press on, my voice strong. “Our relationship started off on the wrong foot and even if you would have ended things with Melissa like you had planned, I think the weight of how we began would have crushed us at some point.” I study him, his expression is serious, intent on what I’m saying. “We need to do this right this time. Take things slow. I want to get to know you again without the guilt of sneaking around. No secrets. No hiding. We need to fall in love all over again and this time do it with nothing holding us back.”

His gaze pierces into me as he pushes up and leans across the table to brush his lips over mine. “I know. I don’t want this to get screwed up again.”

Allie looks at me, confusion written across her face. The building we’re standing outside of is a non-descript brick building that has seen better days. Some of the bricks have crumbled away, leaving holes in the walls, and there is someone sleeping in the stoop of a side door.

“Ummm, I know you wanted to surprise me, but this place is a little sketchy.” Allie takes my hand, smiling at me as I lead her inside.

The door creaks open to a shadowy entrance. A staircase is immediately to the right and on the left is a long hallway with the lights flickering. It really is something out of a horror movie.

The scent of jasmine greets us as I lead Allie into the building. The further down the hall we go the more confused she gets, especially once we start to hear the music. It’s faint at first but as we get closer to our destination it grows louder.

We finally enter the studio. Selena is dancing to the rhythmic music she has blaring in the background. Her shimmery belly dance costume flowing around her. The smooth sway of her hips is mesmerizing as she moves to the beat. Every step, every motion is graceful and smooth.

Allie and I watch her, speechless, until the song is over.

“Welcome! Please take off your shoes, grab a hip scarf, and we will begin.” Selena smiles at us before finding a song on her iPod.

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