Page 12 of Holiday Grief

There was no time or money even for things such as camping. There was barely enough for food and second-hand clothes.

But that was a long time ago, and she was doing pretty well these days thanks to a benefactor who had loaned her the money to start up her Christmas farm. Those days seemed like a dozen lifetimes ago, and thanks to Adam, she was actually finding joy in life.

A terrifying thing to a person who had escaped hell.

Happiness could be ripped away in a heartbeat.

That she knew all too well.

“Not with the hot dogs, but maybe with dessert,” Adam joked back, winking as he nodded at the bag of marshmallows, chocolate bars, and crackers.

“Ooh, s’mores!” It had been a long time since she’d had any. Not since one night when she was ten. Alone with her little sisters, they’d made s’mores over the gas stove. It was dangerous looking back on it but a whole lot of fun.

“Got to have dessert. Want more juice?” he asked.

Along with the hot dogs and s’mores, he’d packed a thermos of hot juice, the perfect drink to go along with their meal.

“Mmm, yeah, I do.” While she got up to pour herself another cup of juice, Adam pulled the hot dog out of the fire and sat down in his seat.

When she went to move past him to her chair, Adam put an arm around her waist and tugged her into his lap.

For a moment Jasmine froze.

Panic bubbled inside her.

This was the closest she’d been to a man since her assault, and even before then none of her male interactions had been positive.

Jasmine had believed there was no such thing as a good man.

Men were selfish and cruel. They took without offering anything in return. They hurt, ridiculed, and in the end, they walked away leaving you broken.

But not Adam.

Adam was everything she thought didn't exist.

Proof that the fairytales she’d loved as a child occasionally came true.

Only she wasn’t sure whether the two of them could ever have that happy ever after ending because despite his words earlier she wasn’t sure she was deserving of happiness.

Still, she trusted this man, liked him, perhaps was even falling in love with him. His reliability, patience, and willingness to prove himself to her even though he personally had never done anything to hurt her.

So she didn't move.

Instead, she forced her muscles to relax one by one. Starting at her feet, she worked her way up her body until she could relax into his hold.

The moment she did, Adam moved a hand resting it on her hip anchoring her against him.

That action, tiny as it might be, insignificant even to most, made a swell of emotion flood her chest. He was there, he wasn’t going anywhere. For nine long months he had proven that to her over and over again.

Happy endings might not exist, or maybe they did.

Perhaps she deserved one, or her past sins had already condemned her.

Jasmine didn't know, and for now, she wanted to set aside her brain and just feel, let her heart guide her.

Once upon a time she’d tried that, it had failed in spectacular fashion, but she was older now, and definitely wiser. This time she was sure she wasn’t making a mistake, and if she was, at least she wasn’t putting anyone, not even herself, in any physical danger.

Slowly, she lifted an arm and draped it around Adam’s shoulders, allowing him to snuggle her closer.

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