Page 11 of Holiday Grief

They made it all the way to the bottom of the porch steps when Jasmine suddenly froze.

Panic filled her huge green eyes as she looked up at him, but since she didn't try to tug her hand free he didn't release her.

Instead, he just stood there. Waiting. Giving her time to work through whatever fears she was battling.

“I don’t … I'm not … I don’t know if I can do this,” Jasmine said. There was a pleading quality to her voice that told him what she needed was reassurance.

“The ball’s in your court, green eyes. If you aren't ready, I understand. We can go back to just hanging out together. There’s no time frame for healing. You’ll be ready when you're ready.”

“What if I'm never ready? What if I don’t deserve to be happy?”

And there it was.

The truth in those whispered words hit him hard.

Adam didn't need to know this went deeper than what had happened last May. It was why she shut herself up here on her farm, interacted with people as little as possible, had no friends, and a strained relationship with her family.

Lifting the hand he still held, Adam touched a kiss to it. “Whatever sins you think you committed are you truly sorry for them?”

“Yes, yes, so much yes.”

“Have you tried to make amends for those sins?”

“The best way I know how.”

“Would you commit those same sins again?”

“No. Never. Not ever.” The desperation in her voice spoke of the guilt she heaped on her shoulders, but he couldn’t imagine what sins Jasmine believed she could have committed.

“Then you deserve to be happy.” As much as he wanted to add that he wanted to be the one to make her happy he didn't. Because Jasmine had to want it for herself.

He would fight for her, but believing she deserved happiness and a future was a battle Jasmine would have to wage on her own.

Adam just prayed she was victorious because he was already in deep.

Chapter Four

February 8th

9:39 P.M.

“Another one?”

Jasmine rubbed her stomach. They’d been eating hot dogs cooked in the fire Adam had built for over an hour. Usually, she didn't even particularly like hot dogs, didn't dislike them they just weren't a favorite, but cooked over an open fire like this … they were the most delicious thing she’d ever eaten.

Or maybe it was the company that made them so yummy.

“Well … I probably shouldn’t,” she said. Watching her figure wasn’t something she usually cared about. After all, who would she be trying to impress? Working out was different, especially after her attack, that was about keeping her body toned and as strong as it could be.

“Oh, you totally should,” Adam countered, grabbing another hot dog and sticking it on the long metal tongs they’d been using to cook them.

“You're trying to fatten me up aren't you,” she teased, but didn't tell him no as he moved the hot dog into the flames. After talking her off a ledge, they’d hiked a little way into the woods to a small clearing. There he had set up a campfire and a couple of Adirondack chairs. He’d lit the fire once they got there and regaled her with stories of camping trips he’d taken with his family when he was a kid. He’d been a cheeky little boy, always getting into mischief, and it made her think of the things she’d missed out on as a kid.

Her family hadn't been picture-perfect like Adam’s.

Far from it.

Certainly not the worst. There was no abuse, alcoholism, or drug use, but they’d barely made ends meet after her dad walked out on them when she was four. With seven little mouths to feed, her mom had no time for anything other than work, and while Jasmine was the third youngest, with three older brothers and an older sister and younger twin sisters, she still had to pull her weight.

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