Page 65 of Protector

“Please.” Her eyes shift from angry to so damn sad, it breaks my heart. “Just... how the hell are you so happy when I’m so miserable?”

“I’m...” I deflate. “I’m sorry, Chloe.”

She chokes on a sob, and I hate myself even more for hurting her. “I loved you. I mean, I really loved you.”

I know she did. I wanted to love her too. “I’m sorry,” I say again, and I know it’s lame, but I mean it. “I’m so damn sorry. I’d take it back if I could.”

She flinches, and I feel even worse. “Why wasn’t I good enough for you? Why? Just tell me. I mean, I know...” She lets out a puff of air, “I know, I’m trash, okay? I live in a shitty little house in town with my mother, who says she’s a waitress but we all know she’s a stripper.”

“What?” I say, actually dumbfounded. “I don’t care about that.”

And I never did. Her mom is nice. A hell of a lot nicer than mine. And she doesn’t have a shithead stepfather at her house. I actually didn’t mind hanging out there. “Don’t do that. Don’t lie to me. I know, okay? But I tried to be a really good girlfriend. I did everything.” She sobs and catches herself. “Just tell me why you couldn’t love me.”

“Chloe...” I swallow hard, trying to make my gut unknot with all the guilt I’m feeling. “It wasn’t you. It really wasn’t. You were a fantastic girlfriend, and I didn’t mean to hurt you. But I did, and I can never tell you how sorry I am because words just can’t say it.”

Her eyes are wet with tears, and she wipes one away, smearing her eye makeup. “I just wanted out of here, and you... I thought you were one of the good ones. One who would get out.”

“I didn’t want out. Not out of the town anyway, and you don’t need a man to get what you want, Chloe.” Although I know growing up here makes girls think that they need to rely on a man for a future.

Hell, I swear half of our class is engaged and planning to be married right out of high school. It’s just that way around here.

She scoffs at me. “Right.”

“Take care of yourself, Chloe.” I say, walking toward my truck again because, as bad as I feel, I don’t think there’s anything I can do.

“I’m pregnant.” I stop and turn to look at her, my eyes wide. She rolls her eyes. “Do you need to go back and take biology again? It’s not yours.”

I snort a disturbed laugh because that wasn’t on my mind at all, but I’m still totally shocked. “I know that, but... you’re pregnant?”

She tries to stand tall, her small shoulders lifted, but it’s a front. She’s scared to death, and I can see it plain as day. “Yeah. I’m a total fucking cliché.” Her tiny shoulders droop, and her chin lowers. “The dumbass cheerleader getting knocked-up senior year. I’m becoming my mother.”

I don’t know what to say. She looks so damn lost and distraught, and no matter what anyone says, I had a hand in getting her into this place. She trusted me, and I failed her. “What are you going to do?”

She laughs, but it’s not joyful in any way. It’s cold and angry... and a little sad. “I went to the abortion clinic. I was ready, you know? I was just going to make it go away, but...” Her eyes shine with tears as she meets mine, and I think she decides not to say what she was going to. “I didn’t. I’m going to have the baby. And I know you think I’m stupid...”

I shake my head vehemently. “No. I don’t. Not at all. I think you’re brave.” I grab the back of my neck with my hand. “Really brave. This isn’t going to be easy.”

She scoffs. “Nope. It won’t be. Not at all. I’ll probably wind up on the pole just like my mother, but I couldn’t...” She shakes her head again, and I step forward, wanting to hug her.

Wanting to comfort her. Wanting to be there for her the way I should have been before. Not because I’m in love with her, but because we were friends, and she deserved so much better.

I don’t touch her though. I’m not that stupid. “Who’s the father?”

She laughs again, but there’s no joy whatsoever. Her mouth forms a deep frown, and she cups her stomach delicately with both hands and looks down at her belly affectionately. And for some reason, in that moment, I know she’s going to be okay.

I don’t know how I know. I just do. She loves this baby already. She wants it.

“My baby was conceived at a Bear party, with me smashed up against a tree and all of us drunk out of our minds. Classy, I know.”

I stare at her and take that in. “Wait.” I stare some more. “You’re having a Big Bend Bear’s baby?”

She rolls her eyes, but I see a flicker of a smile on her pretty face for the first time in a long time. “That’s what you focus on?”

I shrug playfully. “I don’t know, Chloe. Lots of people get drunk, have sex, and end up with babies. But a Bear? Come on. That’s just wrong.”

She shoves my chest, but she’s laughing now as she says, “Shut. Up.”

I laugh too, and damn, does it feel good. I sober up a little, though, and then place a very careful hand on her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

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