Page 46 of Until Forever

“No, no,” she waved her off. “I’ve got it. I can push myself, you know.”

Lana recoiled and stood there awkwardly as they headed off to see the animals. We were left in silence, neither of us sure what to say. When we did finally think of something, we both tried to speak at the same time. We stuttered through that for a moment until I finally gave in and let her be the one to talk.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry about last night.”

“Oh. Wow.” I raised my brows. “I don’t know what I was expecting you to say, but it wasn’t that.”

“I don’t think I’m too good for you,” she admitted. “I never have. I just…I want to be careful.”

“I know, Lana. But did you ever think you’re being too careful? I mean…”

She held up a hand, cutting me off. “Let me finish, okay? Unless you don’t want to hear what I have to say?”

“No. Please. Go on,” I waved.

“You were wrong about how I feel, and…That’s the whole problem. That’s why I’ve been acting this way.” Her voice dropped down to an almost whisper, and she looked around like she didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing what she had to say next. “Because the way I feel…about you…scares me.”

Despite the crowd of people around us, mostly filled with people we both knew personally—we drifted closer together. As close as we could get without raising any red flags or drawing too much attention. But even with us keeping our hands to ourselves and maintaining that last shred of distance between our bodies, we were plenty close enough to stoke the flames. The heat that we were so good at generating was crackling enough that we could have set fire to the whole damn fairgrounds and everything in it. As crazy as it sounded, it felt like if we actually did touch at that moment, even if only our fingertips—we would have done just that.

“What if you don’t have anything to be afraid of?” I questioned her.

Her eyes darkened. “Men like you give every reason for a woman to guard her heart.”

“No,” I argued. “You’re wrong. With you…Now…it’s different.”

“Do you tell every woman that?” she huffed.

“I’ve never said anything like that to a woman in my whole life,” I assured her, and it was the truth.

I forgot myself for a moment and pushed forward, dissolving that last lingering bit of safe air between us. But she took a strategic step back and looked over to where Claire and Em were standing by the petting zoo. From there, her eyes floated to Melody and Derek, who were also still close by.

“Stop. Don’t. I don’t want anyone to see us.”

A big smile spread across my face. “You didn’t say anything about not wanting me to kiss you. Just that you don’t want anyone to see us?”

She rolled her eyes with a grin, but didn’t answer. That was okay. The coy smile curled on her lips told me everything I needed to know.

“Newsflash, Lana. I don’t think a single person here would be surprised to see you and me together. In fact, rumor has it that people are more surprised that we’re not together.”

“Well, here’s a little newsflash for you,” she shot back. “Don’t listen to rumors in small towns.”

“What are you doing tonight? Go somewhere with me.”

“Where?” she asked.

I shook my head. “It’s a secret.”

“If I did go somewhere with you, and I’m not saying I will, but if I did…and you say it’s a secret only for you to turn around and take me to Jake’s or your house, I’m going to turn around and go home.”

I faked a puzzled look, as if she foiled my plans, then said, “Hmmm. Well then, how about the marina?”

Her expression sank, not looking amused.

“I’m kidding,” I laughed. “Don’t you worry, Lana. Any time you give me a chance, I’m going to make damn sure I don’t disappoint you. Either that or I’ll die tryin’.”

As I said it, I realized maybe that was the best a guy like me could ever hope for with someone like Lana. Maybe you’d never “win,” and you’d always be chasing those elusive moments where the stars aligned and they were happy, and you could just be together without a care in the world. You just might spend your whole life chasing after those few precious moments.

The scarier part was, as I realized it—I didn’t mind. It sounded like a life worth living to me. Especially when she was standing so close, staring deep into my eyes like that. Her stare made me go crazy. I would agree to all sorts of insane things under her gaze.

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