Page 47 of Until Forever

“I’ll think about it,” she said finally.

It was perfect timing for Claire, Em, Melody, and Derek to all pop back up again. They circled around us, completely unaware that they were interrupting one hell of a fireworks show between us. Derek was the only person who had the faintest clue that something was up, and he didn’t do a good job of hiding it. His eyes darted between us, and he smiled like the cat who ate the canary.

“We were thinking of going over to sit in the grass and listen to the music for a while,” Melody said, clinging to Derek’s side. Sometimes, those two were like teenagers with all of their giddiness and PDA. “Want to come?” she asked Lana and Claire.

“I think I’m worn out for the night,” Claire admitted, and I could tell it pained her to say it.

“I’ll get you home,” Lana told her, rubbing her shoulder. “It was good seeing you all.”

They turned and left. I couldn’t help but stand there and watch as Lana pushed Claire’s wheelchair away until they disappeared into the crowd. I had no clue if she’d actually go out with me that night or not, but my whole body was teeming with the possibility.

20

LANA

My heart was thumping so hard that I felt like a rabbit as I walked Claire back to the car and loaded up her wheelchair. I was jumpy and on edge like one, too. I couldn’t deny that I wanted to be around Keith. The energy that crackled between us was electric, and unmatched by any man I had ever been around before. I even got off on it when he made me angry. Every emotion he inspired in me was full-tilt and addictive.

But none of that flipped off the warning switch in my brain that told me I needed to be afraid of getting hurt again.

“You okay?” Claire asked as I drove us home.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah! Did you have fun at the fair?” I chirped.

Her brow furrowed. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a little kid?” She laughed and shook her head. “Look, I know something has been going on with you lately.”

I parted my lips to fire off another excuse, but she wasn’t having it.

“And don’t blame it on stress over the marina!” she barked. “I know you better than that, Lana. Don’t worry. I’m not going to pressure you into telling me. You will eventually because I’m your best friend and you tell me everything, sooner or later. I’m just saying you can stop trying to hide it or act like it’s all work stuff. It’s starting to feel insulting.”

“Sorry,” I sighed.

I gripped the steering wheel and thought about telling her everything right then and there. But if I did, I’d have to face the awkward moment of laying it all on her, then immediately turning around and saying that I was also going to see Keith that night. That felt like too much to do to her all at once.

But maybe that was the perfect excuse to get out of seeing him. I couldn’t torture myself over trying to figure out the right move to make if I had a hardout.

I glanced over at her, so close to spilling the truth. But I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready for her reaction or even to hear myself say any of it out loud. The longer I kept it a secret, the more I could pretend none of it was really happening. Those moments with Keith were just weird dreams…or maybe hallucinations from slipping and bumping my head.

The mental gymnastics I was willing to do to stay in denial over my feelings for him or the risk of heartache I was opening myself back up to all over again were really growing ridiculous and exhausting.

“Pizza for dinner?” Claire asked.

I sighed with relief, grateful for the subject change. I wasn’t going to tell her. Not that night. Which meant I still had a chance of going to see him. Why did my heart have to jump so hard at the thought of being with him again in a few hours?

“Or maybe I’ve been eating too much junk food lately,” she frowned. “I did so good at denying myself all of those fried foods at the fair. Mostly because I didn’t want to be dealing with that stupid wheelchair and a bunch of trips to the bathroom all night.”

“I could stop off at the store,” I suggested. “We could get stuff to make a nice, healthy dinner. One that guarantees a normal amount of trips to the bathroom.”

Her face lit up suddenly. “The doctor says we’ll start working more on standing and walking next week. And then I can start practicing around the house. So I won’t have to be such a huge burden for much longer.”

I took a hard and scary, tire-screeching turn into the grocery store parking lot, then turned to her with a death glare.

“You listen here, Claire Foster. You have not and will not ever be a burden to me or anyone who loves you. Understand?”

I was surprised when she responded with laughter.

“You think I’m kidding? I hate it when you talk like that,” I groaned. I stopped myself from saying that maybe if she had a husband who was more present and supportive, she wouldn’t feel that way.

“No, I’m laughing because you looked and sounded just like my mom when you said that,” she cackled.

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