Page 4 of His Human to Adore

I’m shuffled around until I’m falling softly into a bed. Blankets are pushed away from me, and I’m grateful since the warmth of the world is already making me sweaty. They adjust my body on the bed until I’m in a comfortable position.

“Hey, Deja,” Kendra starts speaking to me. I mumble a response that she must think is good enough to continue. “You’re staying with my mates and me tonight. You’re in your own bed, but we’re in one across the room. The room you were going to get was taken by some assholes who stayed over here too late, and now the storms have them trapped here with us.” As if to make her point, another rumble of thunder shakes the room.

“Okay,” I think I say the word, but maybe it doesn’t actually leave my mouth.

“She’s good,” Kendra says. “If she needs anything, we’ll be right here. Erkoz and Xoth know to behave themselves until she knows them.”

“Deja, if you need anything, you just say something, okay?”

“Mhm,” I mumble and turn to my side, my hand bending underneath a pillow as I try to let myself drift off to sleep to the sounds of a storm raging against the stone building I’m now apparently living in. The door opens as the other women leave, and then new people enter. I’m assuming it’s the mates the woman was talking about. They say nothing, or if they do, I don’t hear it. I’m too busy letting the rain lull me to sleep, and before I know it, I’m drifting off.

Dath

“Thereareevenmorefemales in the tribe now. Another is coming soon, but I need to talk to you first.” I rub my horn, refusing to look where I know I should. I’m uncomfortable enough as it is, and to know what I am about to speak about only makes it worse. Not that talking about females should be considered wrong, because it is not. It is just that I have never talked about females with anyone.

“I have been spending time with Erkoz and Xoth’s mate. I know you probably would not like that, but it is nice to have a female care for me. We are just friends, though. She sits in my lap and talks with me like we have known each other since I was young. Sometimes, I put my hands on her, but never in a way that her mates would. And I never sleep with her in my bed, not since the one time I won that as my prize.” I screw my eyes closed, trying to forget about how when I woke that morning, I was so upset when she was no longer in my arms. Not because of her but because having a female in my arms had felt so nice.

“None of that is important.” I shake my head and try to get back on track.

“I have decided I will not survive if one of the human females does not choose me as her mate. I know what you’ll say. That I’m being irrational or ridiculous. I am not, though. I have felt the warmth of a female’s embrace and known the companionship that even one as a friend can bring. In my dreams, I have felt what it is like to care for and adore one of these humans, and I know there is one for me. I just have this awful, sinking feeling that I will not meet her for many, many days or that she may never come at all.”

The wind picks up around me, strange since it has been still all day. I cast my eyes up to the sky and see the clouds are still the soft shade of green that they normally are. The weather is nice. There is no reason for my stomach to be tightening and for worry to be curdling inside me, as it does when the storms come. The elders told us storms were coming early, but none of us truly believed it, even though we sealed all the windows, just in case.

“Are you upset with me?” I focus my attention back on who I’m talking to. “I have done my best to be an honorable male. To be kind and caring to my brothers and to the new humans. I do not think I deserve one of them, but I want one of them all the same. How can I not when I am plagued with the most amazing dreams? The goddess wouldn’t be showing me all of this warmth just to take it away. Surely not.”

The trees surrounding the tribe sway slightly, their enormous frames moving only the smallest amount, but their needled limbs shaking and dropping softened dead needles down to the lower branches and some falling against the grass.

I furrow my brows, silently cursing whatever has decided that now is the time for a storm to come. Yes, I can see it now. The clouds are darkening, taking on a grey appearance until they slowly morph into black clouds of rage and torrential downpours.

I sigh softly and sit in the grass, hoping to get my conversation over with quickly so I can retreat to my room. The new human is coming, but she will not want to see a brother who is afraid of the weather when it turns ugly. No, I am still like a babe in that regard, but I have my reasons, ones that the brothers don’t even tease me about.

“Please, I am just here to get your blessing.” I bite my tongue softly to make the tears in my eyes feel more like they are from pain than the tightness in my chest. “I have kept the books you created for me. I have kept all the letters. I know you wished for me to find a female of our kind to mate with and to have many young to remember you by, but that is not the way my life is meant to go. I need to know you will not hate me for making this decision, that you will forgive me for not fulfilling your last wish.”

Light flashes in the clouds, slicing through them with a jolt of power that is deadly to us and wreaks havoc on our trees if it strikes. I clench my jaw closed, begging for this not to be the sign I am asking for. My hands are already starting to shake, my body tensing as I try to fight off the fear that will soon consume me.

“Mother, please…” My plea is cut off as a loud clap in the sky coats my spine in ice.

I understand what she is trying to say to me. No, of course, she is not happy with me wanting to mate with a human. I rub my chest as my teeth bite down against one another.

My breathing is ragged when I get to my feet, and I only hope I can get back to the great hall before I am left immobile because of the fright that will consume me soon. My movements are jerky and panicked. All the other males are probably inside, waiting for the arrival of the newest female, and I cannot even be happy because of the fear and regret that is pulsing through my body.

I make it inside just as light zaps the grass right outside the great hall. No one notices me when I enter, but they also don’t notice the portal open behind the partition. Ralleth has said something that has all of their attention for just a small moment as the white light appears and disappears much faster than it has for any of the other humans. I stumble toward it after seeing all the humans who are already here have not noticed that there is a new human joining us. She is probably scared and alone, much like I am. But no one notices her, just as no one notices me.

Erkoz rounds the corner of the hallway closest to the partition with a smile on his face that quickly turns into a frown when his eyes land on whoever is on the other side of the partition. He yells something, covering his eyes with his hands. My mind is too splintered in fear, disgust with myself for disappointing my mother, and curiosity at the new human. All of it makes me hate myself more.

I am the closest to Erkoz, so I am the one who grabs his arm and helps him back to the tables because he is still covering his eyes.

I don’t look back at the partition. I can’t. Not right now. No, right now, I need to go to my room and hide under my blankets like the scared young I still am deep in my soul. A young who fears the storms and needs his mother’s permission to do anything. A young that needs her because he cannot do this on his own, but he must.

None of the brothers notice me stumbling past the tables toward the hall that leads to my room. They’re all too focused on their own humans or on the new human about to make her appearance. The only one who looks at me is my friend.

Kendra is the only person who will not visit me and make sure I am okay because there is a new human here, and she wants to be respectful in case the new human is my mate. Her little furry brows bunch together, and her lips turn into a frown. I shake my head, hoping she understands I do not need anyone to check on me. She will still probably send her mates since she will not come on her own. I do not need to listen to Erkoz try to be funny or Xoth try to be positive about what it is I’m feeling. I just need to be alone.

The new human will still be here tomorrow, and I can see her then. I can also tell Kendra that I will take none of the human females as mates so I can continue to enjoy her company. There is nothing she needs to be respectful about because I cannot go against my mother’s wishes. No, what kind of son am I if I ignore the only thing she truly wants for me? I ask her about it, and she brings this storm to silence any opposition to her I had. I will be a dutiful son. It is the only thing left I can do in this life.

My dreams do not come easy, which is for the best since they will be full of fear and terror. I lie, trembling in my bed as the sky claps and thunderous sounds rattle my bones. I do not cry. I have not cried from fright in long years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the sting behind my eyes or the burn in my throat. No, that is only relieved when I am finally exhausted from being scared that my body physically cannot stay awake. My sleep is fitful, and I will wake the brothers plenty. I can only hope the storm drowns out the sounds of my cries in the night.

Deja

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