Page 71 of Silver Fake

I step back, blinking at him in shock. "What?"

"Yes!" John's voice is laced with bitterness. "Heknew, Lisa. And who knows how many other people he's told."

I swallow hard, trying to wrap my head around what he's saying.

"And did you ever consider that Victor only made that offer to get under my skin? To mess with me?" John asks.

I roll my eyes. "The world doesn't revolve around you, John. Victor did not offer me a job just to mess with you."

"Of course he did!" He snaps. "It's not like he would want you for anything else!"

All color drains from John's face as soon as the words leave his mouth.

"Wait, fuck, that didn't come out right..." He starts to say. There is an ache in his voice that has replaced the anger from a moment ago.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, and I try to blink them away.

John reaches for me, trying to take my hand. "Sweetheart, please come here. You know that's not what I meant at all."

But I can't let him touch me right now because if he does, I'll break down. And I won't let him see me lose it over him.

Taking a deep breath, I look him in his eyes so he will hopefully hear me and understand I'm serious.

"All this time, I've been loyal to you. I've loved you and supported you through thick and thin. But no matter what I do, it never seems to be enough. And the fact that you have the nerve to barge in here and say that you can't even imagine why anyone else might want me, might value me...."

My voice breaks, but I keep going. "At least now I know what you really think."

John's face falls as if I've slapped him across the cheek.

"Lisa, that'snotwhat I really think. I love you. Of course, I think you're enough. You always have been," he whispers, reaching for my hand again.

But I flinch away before he can grab it.

"Don't touch me. I can't do this with you anymore, John. I won't survive you breaking my heart every time your fear hits, and you decide to hurt me before I can hurt you."

"Lisa,please."

I walk to the door and pull it open. "Just go."

His face crumbles, tears spilling down his cheeks. "But Lisa, I love you."

As John stands there, tears streaming down his face, a part of me wants to run into his arms and comfort him. To believe that he loves me and everything will be okay. But another part of me is tired. Tired of constantly trying to prove myself. Tired of trying to be enough. Tired of trying to make things work.

I glance at him, my heart aching despite the anger and hurt.

"Goodbye, John," I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Slowly, I close the door, the soft click of the latch echoing in the empty apartment.

As the door seals shut, I feel a wave of desolation wash over me. I stumble back, my legs giving way, and I crumple onto the couch, my body wracked with sobs.

The room echoes with the sound of my heartbreak, the silence amplifying each tear that falls.

CHAPTER24

John

I've madea fool of myself more than once in my life. But last night, the way I lashed out at Lisa is by far number one on the list of dumb shit I've done.