Page 72 of Silver Fake

I'm still unhappy that weeks passed without her telling me about Victor’s offer.

But my reaction was way overkill.

If I'm honest with myself, a part of my reaction was over Victor's crude comments about sleeping with her. And for that, it's Victor I want to lay into, not her. But I let all those emotions pile up until I reached a boiling point by the time I got to her apartment.

The image of her face as I yelled at her and told her that Victor only offered her a job to get back at me is all I can see.

I've dreamed of the day she might say she loves me, and it was always the happiest moment of my life. It's supposed to come out with happiness, but it's like I forced her to share that with me because I wouldn't listen to anything else. It was the only thing that stopped my tirade, and it was also the moment she gave up on me and us.

The worst part is she's right. I don't know how to let her love me because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that she would want to. But for some reason, she does. She showed up for me so many times, even when I didn't deserve it. And all I could do was push her away.

I groan as I look around my office.

There are so many memories with her here. Some good and some bad. But now, I'm sure nothing will outweigh the heartache I saw in her last night.

I know she told the truth when she said she would turn down the job with Victor. But now, she's probably already on her way to Victor's office to accept his offer on the condition she never has to see or speak to me again. I can't blame her. I don't want to look at myself, either.

I drop my head in my hands and groan. God, I don't want to be here. There is no way I'm getting any work done, and if anyone sees me like this, I'll probably get fired. I probably look like I've been out all night, which isn't entirely untrue.

After I screwed up the most important thing in my life last night I couldn't go back to my condo and face my parents. They would be so disappointed in how I reacted to Lisa. The way I jumped to conclusions and spoke to her was unforgivable.

Last I checked, she hasn't shown up for work today, either. I know she's not taking my mom to any appointments today like she was yesterday. She also doesn’t have any PTO scheduled. That means she's not here because she doesn't want to see me, and I know I deserve that.

There is a mirror over one of the credenzas across from my desk, and the first thing I see when I lift my head is myself.

I look like hell, but I feel even worse.

My hair is sticking up in at least six different directions. One side of the collar of my jacket is bent up, and the other has an extra fold in it. My tie is too far to the right and so loose I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off my neck.

Running my tongue over my teeth, I've got the fuzzy feeling you get after a long night when you forget to brush your teeth in the morning.

I look like shit, but I don't have a single desire to do anything about it. Maybe I should keep my look like this.

At least now, the outside matches the inside.

Suddenly, my office door swings open, and I'm out of my chair, ready to rip somebody a new one for bursting into my office like they own it.

As soon as I see Melissa walk in, I lower myself back down. She slams the door shut behind her and storms over to my desk.

Shit.

Every lawyer I know has their own version of a 'don't fuck with me' face. Mine is pretty good. But Melissa's is on another level.

She looks like she's about to spit fire. Her hands are balled in tight fists on the top of my desk, and her nostrils are flaring as she shoots me a glare that feels like it's stabbing me a hundred times over.

"What thefuckis going on, John?" she barks.

I know she is friends with Lisa, but I still don't see how our fight is her business.

"Hello, Melissa," I say, forcing a calmness into my voice that I don't feel. "How are you?"

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares. "Don't act innocent. I know you're to blame for this."

"Blame for what?"

"Lisa."

My stomach drops, and I clear my throat. "What about her?"