“Jade’s wonderful, thank you. And I’m… ugh… I’m alive.”

And now I feel bad for not calling her more often. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch sooner. I—”

“Oh, God no. Please don’t apologize. Gran mentioned she spoke to you and you were giving us some quiet bonding time.”

What?! Thank you, Bea. I guess sometimes it pays off to have everyone in your business. “We all need some adjusting time.” I shrug, even though she can’t see me.

“You’re absolutely right. And I’m so grateful to you.”

“You’re welcome,” I say as guilt consumes me. Truth is, I can’t face her. I can’t look at her little girl, when her name brings me so much uncertainty, so much heartache. I lostmyJade, and I still have no idea what happened. I’m not sure I’ll ever fully get past that.

“Anyway, sorry to bother you so late, but I have someone coming in from Angel Lakes to take over the Hadley wedding on Saturday. Would it be okay if you let her in and give her my spare key?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

I can hear in her voice that handing over the wedding pains her. As it would if it was me. She’s done all the groundwork, it’s her business, and now someone else will finish it while she’s stuck across the bridge.

I agree to keep my eyes and ears open for her, and then we say our goodbyes, but when I hang up, I can’t bring myself to go back to the dining room right away. Maybe if I take my time, dinner will be over and I can just leave. Wishful thinking, I know. Mom’s probably told them all to put their forks down and wait for me. Although, I’m not Ashley.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door and find Jesse walking out of the bathroom opposite of where I’m standing. He freezes in the doorway with his scowl still locked in place, like I’ve made it a permanent fixture. I stop for a second, needing to see if he has anything to say, but we end up just staring at each other, at some kind of impasse.

Huffing out a laugh, I roll my eyes and turn away. “Unbelievable,” I mutter under my breath just as I’m pulled back toward him in a move reminiscent of this morning. And just like that instance, it excites me.

My pulse spikes as a rush of adrenaline hits me, and I’m struck with a sick realization.I like this. The unknown. The will he, won't he. The chase. I want it all.

But only because it’s him.

There’s an air of mystery around him I find so freaking intriguing. Everything he does reels me in. No matter how much I want to hate him.

When I turn his way, he’s seething but tries to hide it behind one of his many masks.

“I know you’re pissed off,” he says, his fingers still wrapped around my wrist. “But don’t do this because you think it will get back at me. I assure you, it won’t. You’re putting yourself in harm’s way fornothing.”

Ouch, that hurt.And I don’t mean his grip.

“I know you think the world revolves around you, Jesse. Butthisisn’t about you. Alex asked me out. I—”

“Stay away from him, Willow.” His grip tightens but it’s not painful. It comes across more panicked than threatening.

“Or what?” I ask anyway.

“You’re the only one that will end up hurt.” His eyes flash with anguish but I ignore it.

“I’ll take my chances,” I say, ripping my hand free from his grasp. “But I appreciate the concern.”

With that, I walk away. Okay, I storm off. But the situation warranted it.

I don’t hear him follow me, so when I round the corner, I rush into the laundry room, needing a second to catch my breath.

That was intense.

I’ve spent a huge part of my life avoiding strong emotions, and now I can’t escape them. What is it about Jesse that brings so much out of me? He’s changing the rules,myrules, when I wanted to be the one to do that. He’s bringing me back to life and he doesn’t even want me.

Where the hell do I go from here?

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jesse