Page 120 of The Sound Of Silence

My soul shattered a long time ago. I never thought I’d be whole again. I never wanted to be. I don't deserve it. But I can’t for the life of me stop the train wreck even though I see it coming.

I’ve never felt anything as strong as this.

If only it wasn’t destined to end.

When the time comes, the workshop has me busy enough to keep my thoughts clear. And before long it’s time for the celebrity head to head, an addition that was suggested as an extra money raiser. Throughout the event, participants and donors were asked to vote on who they wanted to see compete against each other in a neutral sport. Sending us all out of our comfort zones.

The announcer makes his way to the stage, and everyone gathers around in excited anticipation. Except me. Ignoring the fanfare, I continue working on a drill with a ten-year-old foster child—who is eerily similar in personality to a certain blonde I can’t get off my mind. At first I thought I was projecting, but when I saw her flash a smile at an older boy who’d pushed her aside, before giving him the finger when his back was turned, I actually laughed.

Fuck, I wish she was here.

“Okay, you’ve got this! Let’s try it one more time.”

Lining up for the play, I move toward our makeshift goal with the substitute puck in my possession. My opponent watches me closely, her eyes locked on the ball as she anticipates my move. I fake left and move right but she’s onto me, stealing the ball exactly like we practiced.

“I did it!” she cries out just as my name’s called over the PA.

“You did it,” I say back with a grin, suddenly wishing I hadn’t wasted so many years separating myself from my past in the system, instead of using my experience to give back.

The announcer calls my name again, and I comically cringe, making the little girl laugh. “I have to run,” I tell her, motioning to the stage. “But feel free to tell everyone back at school that you stole a shot from Jesse Hastings. They don’t need to know it wasn’t on the ice.”

Her jaw drops before she thanks me again and waves goodbye.

I make it up on the stage just as NFL star Dylan Mathers and baseball legend Eli Barton arrive.My competition.

“Of course, I’d get lumped with you two,” Dylan says with false annoyance.

“Are you nervous, Mathers?” Eli says with a laugh at the same time I say, “You agreed to be here,” a small smirk on my lips.

“I’m not nervous. I just didn’t know I’d get stuck with the two players my wife drools over.”

“Fuck off, I’ve seen the two of you together. She’s only got eyes for you,” I reassure him, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. I usually keep out of other people's business.

Dylan’s brows raise but he recovers quickly. We’ve met a few times before, so even he knows that was out of character. He’s about to respond when they announce our sport.

“Jesse, Dylan, and Eli will try their hand at”—he pauses for dramatic effect—"lacrosse.”

“The fuck,” I mumble with a forced smile while Eli bursts out laughing and Dylan shakes his head.

Waving to the crowd, I step up for my turn at the catching drill with eyes on the prize. I'm determined to kick some ass, especially after Eli proved better at passing.

I’ll admit, I don’t hate all this as much as I thought I would. I may even be enjoying it. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

“Jesse!” Seth yells out from across the crowd, his voice slightly panicked. I ignore him at first—he probably thinks I’m going to embarrass myself—and get into position, pulling my cap lower on my head, showing them I mean business.

“Don’t worry, I won’t make you two look too bad,” I joke and then pause with my stick half raised in the air, making the crowd laugh.What the hell is going on? I don’t joke like this.

“Jesse! I need you. Now!” Seth yells, louder this time, leaving no room to argue, causing an ill feeling to settle in my stomach.

Dylan grabs my gear as I throw it to the ground, and I feel him and Eli watch as I jog over to Seth, trying hard to keep the emotion off my face.

“What’s so urgent that you’d interrupt—”

“Willow’s missing.”

My heart stops as everything fades to black, my brain working overtime to process what he said. “What do you mean she’s missing?”

“Pippa’s been trying to call you. No one has heard from her since last night.”

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