Page 119 of The Sound Of Silence

That’s a no.

“Oh. Uh.” I subtly try to step out of his hold, but he steps closer.

“Before you answer, I have something to say.”

Chapter Forty-Seven

Jesse

“Jesse!Jesse!Canyoutell us about today?”

I raise an eyebrow to Seth and he steps in, taking over on my behalf. When I agreed to this event, I promised to donate my time, my money, and my expertise. I specifically stipulated that I would not be donating brain cells by answering bullshit media questions. This isn’t a circus. It’s a skills workshop for disadvantaged children—a much larger version of the one I planned for Pippa’s hometown.

So, unless they’re donating their time, or money from their own back pockets, I have no interest in what they have to say.

I walk away without so much as a wave and meet the team in the locker room. Today’s event is being held at San Francisco’s football stadium with football and baseball stars, basketballers, hockey players, and more taking part. It’s actually one of the better events I’ve been involved in.

“The man is here,” basketball legend Jai Whitehall says before throwing a ball at my head.

Catching it easily, I throw it back his way but don’t otherwise respond. Anyone that’s heard of me knows I’m only here because I want to give back. I have no interest in socializing or pretending to be someone I’m not, and I am not someone that messes around in the locker room.

“Alright people, friends,” the head of the foundation says, as he walks in the door, undoubtedly proud of the turnout. “Thank you all for coming. The kids have started arriving and there’s excitement in the air. Are you ready?”

Cheers ring out around me, but I ignore it all, heading over to a quiet corner to get changed. Today’s a big deal for these kids. They never get the support they need to pursue their sport. And now’s their time.

Other than a small stint of awful luck growing up, I was fortunate enough to find a few families that encouraged and nurtured my hockey dream, but many others don’t get that chance. This is our opportunity to give them a leg up. Every kid today will not only be learning skills from some of the country's finest athletes, they’ll get a bag of equipment for their chosen sport. It may not go a long way to helping them achieve their goals, but it’s a start.

After pulling a brand-new jersey out of my bag, I strip off my tee just as Seth sinks down onto the bench beside me, his media responsibility presumably done.

“I’m impressed with the caliber of players here,” he says, his lips curling into a grin. “Why’d they pick you?”

“No idea,” I deadpan.

“Maybe the organizer doesn’t know how much of an asshole you really are,” he jokes and I flip him the finger. “I’m kidding. Maybe it’s the fact that I know you came up with the idea.”Fuck.“You’re a good guy, Jesse. And being here is good for when we start contract discussions. It’s great to see everyone banding together.”

My eyes meet his, and I’m struck by the emotion behind them. It feels like he’s telling me he’s proud of me, for something other than hockey, and I’m not at all prepared for the warmth his words give me.

My chest tightens, and all I can do is give him a small nod in thanks, but when he gives me the hint of a smile, I know he gets it.

Standing up, he shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a step closer. “Whatever it is, let it go. It’s been eating you alive for long enough.”

My eyes widen, but I hide my shock before he notices. I’ve always had a feeling he knew more about me than he was letting on, but why choose now to bring it up? After all this time, he mentions it when I’m struggling the most.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, and it comes out surprisingly steady considering it’s a complete lie.

Seth lifts his hand to pat me on the shoulder but stops before he makes contact with my bare skin.Yep, he knows. But is he doing it to freak me out or to comfort me?

As if reading my mind, he drops a photo of me and Willow into my lap. “I will always be on your side, Jesse. Hurry up and break it off with Pippa, so we can celebrate you finally finding something real.”

“Where—”

“Don’t worry, no one’s going to see that. I paid them off. You owe me a shit ton of money.” He winks before walking away, while I’m left reeling. I have so many questions, but I don’t really want the answers. Instead, I study the photo in front of me and suck in a breath.

I look happy. Correction,welook happy. And that didn’t happen often enough. But I know why it is. I found her.

I found the one person who sets me on fire instead of making me burn, and I spent most of our time together pushing her away. The last thing I ever want to do is drag her into the black hole that is my life, but it’s been twelve years. I’ve outrun my past for this long. Surely that means that I’m free, that the worst of it’s behind me.

All that aside, how do I tell her the truth? How do I look her in the eye knowing that one of my truths has the potential to cause irreversible pain? To break her. And the other will make her hate me.

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