Page 90 of Feast

He groaned, and since it didn’t look like he was going anywhere anytime soon, sat down on the stool in front of his workbench.

“However,” Esme continued. “It didn’t end with a random hookup in Vegas, did it?”

He kept his mouth shut, knowing she didn’t actually want an answer.

“It did not,” she continued. “You kept seeing her. Why, Spence? Was it just for the sex?”

He frowned. “No.”

“No big deal if it was,” she continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “As long as everyone is upfront with their expectations, boundaries, etc., fuck buddy relationships can be a lot of fun.”

“It wasn’t just for the sex,” he ground out, irritated. “I like Maddie.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

Esme planted her hands on her hips and glared at him like he stole her man. “Then what the fuck is your fucking problem?”

“I don’t want to fuck up my mother’s life, okay?” he shouted.

She blinked. “What does your mother have to do with this?”

“Never mind,” he muttered and rose. “I should get you home.”

She laid her hand on his arm when he tried to walk past her. “Spence. Talk to me.”

He sighed. “It won’t do any good.”

“Humor me.”

Too tired to resist, he allowed her to lead him back to the stool. “When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom. My dad took off before I was born, and aside from child support, he hasn’t been around.”

“I remember,” Esme said, and her voice was soft with understanding.

“My grandparents helped when they could, but they were older, and weren’t really equipped to deal with a rambunctious kid. So mostly, it was just the two of us. And it was hard. God, she worked her ass off.”

“I can imagine,” Esme murmured, but he barely heard her.

“Two jobs most of the time, sometimes three. The child support helped, but there was always something else to pay for. New clothes, sports equipment, class trips. It never ends with kids.”

“I know.” Esme hesitated. “Spence, do you think you owe her for that?”

“What? No.” He shook his head. “It’s…she was never happy, you know? I mean, she wasn’t unhappy, really, but she wasn’t thriving. I was, she wasn’t. Until now.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s so fucking happy with Stephen. You should see her, E, she fucking glows. And she’s…content,” he decided. “There’s a serenity about her now, a calmness. Like she doesn’t worry about anything anymore.”

Esme shook her head. “I don’t understand what that has to do with you and Maddie.”

“How happy do you think she’s going to be if she finds out I’ve been fucking her new stepdaughter?”

“She might be unhappy if all you were doing was fucking her. But we’ve already established that’s not the case, is it?”

“It’s not that simple,” Spence protested.

“Probably not. So stop being a coward and figure it out.”

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