Page 63 of The Second Chance Year

I close my eyes.

And in that moment, I know, without a doubt, exactly why I care.

Chapter 34

My eyes fly open, and I stare at my brother. “Oh my God.”

“What?”

I get up and pace across the room and then back. Pausing in front of Owen, I open my mouth and then close it again. And then I spin on my heel and pace back and forth again.

“Sadie.What is it?”

“I—” I stop pacing and press my hands to my flushed cheeks.“I’m in love with Jacob,”I half-mumble, half-blurt out.

Owen’s mouth drops open, and at first, no sound comes out. He blinks a couple of times and then drops his head into his palms. His shoulders begin to shake, silently in the beginning, but soon, I can hear little jagged puffs of breath from beneath his hands.

“Owen?” I ask cautiously.What the hell?

My brother’s shoulders shake harder, his whole body rocking now. The gasps grow louder. And all of a sudden, it dawns on me.

“Oh my God.Are you laughing?”

He lifts his head from his hands, nodding vigorously, but he can’t actually get any words out thanks to the fact that he’s practically in hysterics. He grips the arm of the chair really roaring with it now.

“What is the matter with you?” I demand. “Get it together.”

“I’m—” He gasps. “I’m trying.”

I stand in front of him with my hands on my hips. “Try harder.”

“I am, I am. Okay.” He coughs. “Sorry, it’s just…” And then,Seriously?He’s laughing again. Finally, after a couple more minutes of this, he sucks in a deep breath and gets it under control.

I smack him in the arm and then cross the room to flop back on the couch. “I can’t believe I justbared my soulto you, and this is how you reacted.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just—” His lips twitch, and if he laughs again, I’ll kill him. “Jacob’s been low-key in love with you for years. For practically forever.”

“He what?” I sit up. “Jacob has not been in love with me.”

“He has.” Owen nods. “Truly, madly, deeply.”

“What? Since when?”

“I think it started when we were in fourth grade, and you were in fifth. Some jerk on the school playground stole Jacob’s saxophone and threw it in a dumpster. And you came along and told the kid that if he didn’t climb in there and get it, you’d crush him like a bug under your shoe. That was it for Jacob.” He throws his hands into the air likeI don’t get it.“Goner.”

“I vaguely remember this.” I squint at him, searching my memory. “And,” I have to acknowledge, “it does sound like something I would’ve done.”

“You think?”

Jacob, in love with me.And all of a sudden, my heart is aching with longing and hope. Is it really possible? He must feelsomethingfor me. Friendship, attraction. He showed up allthose times. And you can’t fake the intensity of those kisses we had. But I don’t want only attraction or friendship. I want…

Everything.

“So, if I’m in love with him, and he’s felt the same for years…” My gaze swings to my brother. “Why were youlaughing?”

Owen gets to his feet and heads into the kitchen. A minute later, he comes back with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “This might call for something a little stronger.” He hands me a glass, splashes in some amber liquid, and then takes the bottle and the other glass back to his chair.

I take a tiny sip, and the whiskey burns all the way down. I set the glass on the coffee table next to my untouched beer. “So?” I demand. “Tell me.”

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