Page 83 of Abigail's King

“Kelsey, leave it. Give the man a chance to speak. Also, you weren’t supposed to mention Abigail. He might not know.”

I sat there for a moment laughing to myself. The pair of them weren’t married yet, and they were already arguing between themselves. I let them argue with each other for a while before I finally cut in.

“Will you two please stop for a moment? You can have your domestic once we have finished. First, I need to speak to you both, about a lot of things. I know that Abigail is expecting my twins. I saw her today and we spoke for a while. That’s one thing I needed to talk to you about. But first, I owe you both an apology and an explanation. I’m really sorry for everything, especially if I have made you worry about me. Even if you had good cause.”

I explained everything to them, something I hadn’t done with anyone else in my life. They knew everything about Sofia and Mateus, so I started from the point I moved in with Davi. About the gangs I got involved with, how I became a mercenary, along with everything I had seen. The mental health struggles I had gone through. What I had done last night right up until the ultimatum that Abigail had given me. I was emotionally drained at the end of it, but I also felt relieved. I had finally shared everything with someone. I knew they couldn’t help me like a professional, but finally admitting it all to someone lifted yet another weight off me.

I looked up and saw Kelsey sitting there with tears falling down her face. I even caught Nathan wiping a tear away.

“All that time when you were drinking, it wasn’t because of Sofia, was it?”

Nathan had worked it out. The real reason why I spent every night alone, awake, or drinking. It had nothing to do with losing Sofia and everything to do with the nightmares I lived with.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Jayden would have helped. He lived with the nightmares of Mark for most of his life until he found Sienna. We would have understood.”

I smiled at Kelsey. It seems so simple. Just explain to someone and they would all go away. But a man had his pride. Especially me. I couldn’t show any weakness, it would be the death of my career and probably me. I had to keep that hard man image that I had always portrayed myself to be, even though deep down I was just a big softy, that loved hard and fiercely.

“It was never as easy as that, Kelsey. It sounds it when you say it, but I had my pride to consider. I know that sounds stupid, but to us men, it’s important not to show any sign of vulnerability or weakness. It’s what makes us different from women. And before you get on your high horse, I’m not saying you are the weaker sex. Far from it. I don’t think most men could go through childbirth and everything else we put you through.”

“Speak for yourself, Kye.”

I saw the look that Kelsey gave Nathan and knew he would be paying for that comment later.

Ignoring Nathan’s comment, except for the glare, Kelsey continued. “So, what are you going to do?”

There was the million-dollar question.

“That’s the problem. I don’t know what to do. How can I make Abigail believe that I really want her? Even if I convinced her that I wanted her and not the twins, would she forever be thinking that I had only come back to her because of the twins and that one day I would just walk away again? I can’t win, whatever I do.”

I saw the realisation hit both of their faces. It was true. She would forever be wondering if it was her or the twins that I wanted in my life. The truth was, I wanted both, but was that what she wanted? I couldn’t say that even if the twins weren’t coming into our lives, I would still want her. The twins, barring some disaster, were still on their way, and if I said that, she would think I didn’t want to be a dad, which I did. I had a lot of thinking to do, and I guessed not a lot of time to do it.

We spent the rest of our time talking about more mundane things. I caught up on what was happening at King’s and also promised that I would reach out to Mason and Jayden in the next couple of days. I found out more about how Kelsey was getting on with the pregnancy. They hadn’t decided to find out what they were having, and I chose not to tell them. I had studied that scan so much since they sent it to me that I was positive it was going to be a boy, but I would let them find that out when they were born.

With floods of tears and promises to keep in touch, we said our goodbyes, with me promising that I would be home soon. I still hadn’t found the answers I needed, but I felt a lot better than before, which I hoped would help me get Abigail back. The more I sat here and thought about it, the more I realised that she was the world to me. No matter what happened between us, I would never love anyone else in my life. I just needed to work out a way to prove it to her, and I had to do it soon.

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