Page 75 of Abigail's King

“Okay, I put that the wrong way. This isn’t a request. You will be coming down to the hall if I have to drag your sorry arse out of bed. You need to get out of this house and start living again. You never know what could happen in the future. Don’t give up yet, please. Now get your arse out of that seat and get in the shower.”

Davi helped me up from the chair and steadied me for a second. I was quite surprised at how well I was functioning after looking at the number of bottles by my side. He helped me up the stairs and deposited me in the bathroom after starting the shower for me. I just about managed to get myself undressed and into the shower.

I hated to admit it, but it felt good to get myself clean. I hadn’t wanted to bother for the past two weeks. What was the point? No one was going to come for me? Except, of course, Davi. He had always been there for me, even if I hadn’t been the best friend to him recently.

I shut the shower off and headed back into my bedroom, where I found a clean outfit waiting for me. After getting dressed, I slowly headed back downstairs. Although I was able to function almost normally, my head was spinning a bit and I didn’t want to end up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. I found Davi in the kitchen with a hot mug of black coffee waiting for me. I hadn’t thought I’d been upstairs that long, but it looked as though he had cleaned everything up downstairs.

“Drink that. It will help. I’ve picked up most of the crap off of the floors, but you will need to either clean it or get someone in. I might want to help, but there is a limit.”

“Obrigado, Davi. Thank you.”

“Hey, what are friends for if not to pick each other up once in a while? I’m not going to make you talk tonight, but you do need to reach out to someone soon. Whether that is me, Mateus, or one of your friends back in the UK, you need to talk. It’s probably best if you see a counsellor, but I know how you feel about those things. We can only help you so much, Ricardo.”

I looked at him as I sipped my coffee and smiled. For the first time since I had walked out of her life that morning, I actually felt the need to smile.

“I know, Davi. I realised a few days ago I needed help. Well, months, in fact. I just had no reason to do it without Abigail. I’m not sure if it is worth it now. It’s probably too late.”

“As I said, don’t give up yet. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Can I trust you to not do anything stupid now?”

I nodded. “I’m not going to kill myself if that’s what you mean. And I won’t be getting into a car or on my bike.”

“Right, in which case, I am going to head off home. We will be at the hall around eleven o’clock tomorrow and will be there most of the day. Head over when you’re ready. If you aren’t there by two, I will be sending someone to get you.”

Again, I nodded. I needed to get out of here, and seeing the band again could be the boost I needed. After that, I would take each day as it came. Deal with one little obstacle every day until I was back to the man I should have been all along.

“Boa noite, Ricardo. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I wished Davi a good night and headed out onto the terrace. I was going to face one demon tonight, and if I could get through that, then I knew what I needed to do. I walked down towards the beach and sat down to watch the sea.

I waited for the cloak to close in on me. For the voices to return. But there was nothing. All I could feel was the wind blowing and hear the waves as they crashed along the beach. There were no voices and no cloak.

I got up from my seated position. I had my answer.

Tomorrow was a new day. A new start to my life. I had a lot of making up to do, but I was going to do it. I knew I wasn’t cured and that there was a chance that my depression could come back at any moment, but I was willing to admit it and go find the help I needed. I headed back to the house and up to my bedroom. I set an alarm on my phone so I was at least up at a sensible time. I would decide if I was going to head down to the hall of my own accord or be dragged down there by Davi in the morning. For now, I was going to try to do something I hadn’t done for the past month: sleep.

I placed my head on the pillow, waiting for the noise to start. For the nightmares to come. But they never did. Before I knew it, the weariness I had been feeling for so long took over my body as I slipped into the unconsciousness of sleep for the first time in a long while.

---