Page 99 of Lavender Moon

“I’m sorry, Mr. Shane, but if you want to stop the proceedings, you have to come in and file a voluntary dismissal with the court, and that’s if your wife hasn’t responded to the petition yet.”

“Well, I think she might have,” I exhale in frustration. “I don’t have them; I think she might’ve mailed them in.”

“If that’s the case, both parties have to sign the voluntary dismissal, which means she has to agree that she also wants to stay married. If she doesn’t, she has the option to counter-petition.”

Shit. That means putting a stop to the divorce is going to mean more than making a phone call. I drove out here prepared for Luna to shoot me down, at least at first, but I was hoping for more time where the divorce is concerned. If we’re still married, we’re at least still tied to each other in some way, and this is me holding on to whatever small, shattered piece of us I can.

“Okay, well, uh… I’m going to be filing that dismissal as soon as I can, and I’ll go from there I guess,” I answer hesitantly before ending the call. I polish off my coffee and that’s when I see a silver Malibu pull up on the opposite side of the street. The girl who gets out is familiar, and it takes at least half a minute of scrutinizing to place her. The fact that she has colorful streaks in her blonde hair thankfully pulls me back to visions of her laughing with Luna at camp, and … under the club lights the night I found Luna again.

Cassidy.

I jump into action, wrenching my door open and climbing out of my truck as she opens the back passenger door to retrieve something from the back seat.

“Cassidy!” I shout, briskly crossing the street to her.

She straightens up, holding a laundry basket full of neatly piled fabrics in both hands as she looks around for whoever called her name. When her line of vision falls on me, her mouth parts open and the set of her eyes goes from momentarily stunned to downright irate.

“What in the actual fuck?” She draws out each sentence fragment with a dip of her chin.

“Where’s Luna? Have you seen her?” I ask urgently as I approach her side.

“Like I’m going to tell you,” she responds with a serious bite in her voice. “You’re done with her, remember?”

“No, I’m not done with her!” I hold my hands up and shake my head, pleading my case.

“Nothing says done like divorce papers,” she spits cynically and widens her eyes as she moves to walk around me.

“She was never supposed to get those,” I explain, following her to the building’s front door.

“Oh well, that makes it okay then,” she fires back sarcastically as she turns and pushes her back side out to push through the door. “You still filed, Kaleb. You wanted to leave her.”

“I was fucked up, Cassidy,” I continue as I follow her up the tall staircase that she’s marching angrily up. “I’d been through the worst hell you can imagine, then I came home to the only person left in my life to find out things had somehow changed between us,” I argue gruffly as she sets the basket down to dig in her purse. “What’s going on, where is she?” I ask, bending my brows as she produces a key and fits it in the lock.

“She doesn’t live here anymore. I do,” she supplies, pulling the door to the side. And after she bends down to retrieve her basket of fabrics, she adds, “by the way, get out,” before turning and carrying it through the threshold. Only I don’t follow her instructions. Instead, I take a tentative step inside and glance around to see the place unchanged from the one night I spent here. It’s like I’m back there again, only the euphoria is gone. “I mean it, Kaleb.” Cassidy’s brash voice snaps me back to the moment. “You’ve done enough. The least you can do for her now is to leave her alone and let her heal from the damage.”

I have no argument for that, as it’s truly what I should do for Luna. But I’m selfish, and can’t let her go without a fight. Instead, I follow Cassidy back down the stairs when she passes me. “Why isn’t she staying here?” I ask. “And where is she?” I ask again.

“I’m not answering either of those questions.”

“Cassidy, please.” I soften my tone as I follow her back out to the street as she uses her key fob to pop the trunk of her car. “This was nothing more than a colossal mistake I made when I was in the worst place of my life. She’s the most important thing in the world, and I would move heaven and earth to make it up to her,” I convey as she reaches in her trunk and pulls out what looks like a sewing machine under a protective cover. It looks heavy, and absentmindedly, I take it from her as I stand there, still waiting.

Cassidy looks at her sewing machine in my hands and up at my eyes a moment, her expression softening just minutely. “She doesn’t want to come back here,” she sighs, reaching in and grabbing a quilted duffle bag, as well as an empty tote before slamming the trunk lid shut. “It… bothers her.”

I follow her again as she marches up the stairs and continue on into Luna’s studio. I set the sewing machine down on the small kitchen table as she drops her bag and heads over to what used to be Luna’s art corner. Luna had most of her supplies with her in our home, but there appears to be a few items left over that Cassidy starts carefully setting into the tote.

“Why does it bother her?” I ask, strutting slowly over to her.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head with a sigh. “Forget it. I shouldn’t’ve even said that.”

I want to push on that issue, but know it’s probably best to pick my battles and play my cards right here if I want the chance to see Luna.

“Alright, but, Cassidy, I meant everything I said downstairs. I want to stay married to Luna more than I want my heart to keep beating. I don’t deserve a chance to talk to her, but I will do anything if you’ll give me one anyway. I will do anything on this earth to have her back so I can love and protect her for the rest of my life. I will make sure nothing hurts her again. Not even me.” I place a hand on my chest as if to emphasize my plight.

Cassidy stands there for a moment, looking around the space while she agonizes over my words before her eyes roll skyward with another heavy sigh.

“You’re such an asshole, Kaleb.”

“I know.”

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