Page 21 of Winter's Kiss

He turned, without so much a word or glance back, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist with a quick step from the bathroom. I inhaled and closed my eyes. My head rested back against the wall as the water continued to flow beside me.

Could I do this? Just walk away. I had never dealt with choices before. Since I could remember everything had always been settled for me, what if I made the wrong one? I remained in the shower for minutes, with a quick rinse-off, before I wrapped a towel around my body and made my way from the room. With a slow stride, I stepped into the front of the cabin, and my movement stopped with a gasp.

“Oh my God.” I clinched at the towel, frozen. Theo and Anna stood in the room, Theo with a chuckle as he took his eyes from me and moved to his son.

“Do we need to come back later, son?” Rowland looked at his father with a tilt of his head.

“I’ll go get dressed.” Four words, that’s all Rowland said before he made his way past me and back into the bedroom. I smiled at his parents, Anna, and Theo with a kind one back.

“You should get dressed, sweetheart,” Anna said softly.

“Perhaps have a little conversation with someone.” Theo gave me a wink before he opened the front door, his hand a grip on Anna’s. “We’ve brought your car.” My lips parted. I wanted to tell him to take the car and push it off a cliff. Break a hose, if necessary, anything that would delay the events closer to come.

I remained alone in the front of the cabin for minutes before I made my way into the bedroom. My gaze fell on him as he sat on the edge of the bed, bent forward with a quick tie of his boots. I hated this, the not knowing. The fear of his refusal. The dreadful pull away from him, from Muddy Waters even. I wanted to wait for him, but I knew now that Rowland was just as scared as I was.

I made a quick movement to him, my hand placed lightly on the side of his face. He sat upright, his gaze lifted to meet mine only after I pulled his head up. My body moved to stand between his legs. If I learned anything from this trip, this adventure, from Rowland himself, it was life was short. There was no room to be scared of the things you want.

“What are you thinking?” I asked. He gave his lips a quick lick with a tilt of his head.

“Are you hungry?” I knew better. That wasn’t what he was thinking.

“Rowland, talk with me,” I demanded.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked, as though he played dumb. I scoffed; my hands fell to his shoulders.

“What’s happened between us. What it means.” When I spoke the words, I felt a heaviness in my chest, my heart. Had I spoken too soon? No! I screamed at myself. There was not too soon when I was planning to leave, to start toward my sister’s later that day.

“What do you think it means?” He asked.

“I know you’re scared, I am too, but…”

He reached up and grabbed my hands, his body leaning back and away from me. His gaze changed the way he looked at me.

“I’m not scared.” He pressed against my hips and moved me backward with a quick stand from the bed. “I’m just being honest about what this is or was.” My eyebrows furrowed with his comment, and my body turned as I watched him walk toward his dresser.

“What is it that this is, or was then?” Did I want to hear the answer to this? “Don’t you dare say it was a fling. You and I know there is more to this? More to us.” Rowland remained with his back towards me while I rambled, my tone stern.

“Natasha, I…” I laughed with a shack of my head, no I wouldn’t let him make what we shared seem like it had been nothing.

“Rowland, look at me.” He turned, and I exhaled with a smile as I saw the look in his eyes. “You don’t have to be scared or feel guilty.” My eyes started to water, Rowland with his head lowered.

“You should get dressed.” He answered in a calm tone. “I’ll walk you up to the house.” I nodded my head in understanding. There was nothing more to say. Rowland glanced up at me once more before he turned and made a quick move from the bedroom.

It took everything in me not to cry, not to fall to the floor and curse the events that had led me to this man. I had made myself believe I would be okay with this being our fling.

Our adventure when I left. Yet, the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, the distance he gave me just moments after we had made love. Was this what a broken heart felt like? I asked myself with a slow seat on the bed.

Before I could register, I stood beside my car in front of Theo and Anna’s home. Theo and Rowland stood in silence at the foot of the steps while Anna wrapped her arms around me in a warm, strong embrace. She had become like another mother to me. In such a short time, she had given me love and advice as only a mother could. She welcomed me and gave me the chance to make my own choices, even if she didn’t agree with them.

“He’s a hard shell.” She whispered in my ear. I stepped from our hug, with my watery gaze lifted to her. “But you’ve cracked his walls, I see it.” I smiled briefly with my head lowered.

“Then why isn’t he asking me to stay?” I asked with my eyes returned to hers. Anna tilted her head, a soft smile pulled along her warm features.

“I think we both know the answer to that, sweetheart.” I knew it was Paige. He hadn’t let her go yet. Perhaps he wasn’t ready. Maybe he never would be. I couldn’t blame him for that. If anything, it made me want him more. He loved hard.

“Enough hogging our little city, girl.” Theo chuckled with his words as he neared us. “I’d like my moment with her before she escapes the confines of our small town.” Anna smiled and gave me one final warm embrace before she made her way toward Rowland.

Theo wasn’t like any father I’d ever known, definite far cry from mine. He smiled and opened his arms wide with an arch between his brows. With a laugh, I walked into his hold, my arms wrapped around him, with my head resting on his shoulder. He rocked us back and forth, my eyes closed as I took in the hold.

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