Page 81 of Broken Daddy

“I do think he’ll come around. He’s just been dealing with a lot lately.” Lips pursed, I busy myself with arranging the dishes to go out.

A completely ridiculous “what if” goes through my mind.

What if…I just spilled everything, right now, to this almost stranger? What if I told Mel about how I had a one-night stand with the man who I failed to recognize as my brother’s best friend, then ended up working for him over the summer? And to top it off—thanks to not being able to keep our hands off each other—I’m now pregnant. And planning on fleeing the country. To pursue my dream, though. So it’s not crazy, right?

A smile settles on my lips at the thought. Mel is arranging glasses and asks, “Red or white?”

“Oh, no thanks,” I reply unthinkingly. “I’m sticking to water tonight.”

She stops moving.

A flush starts at my throat. I glance over at her wide eyes. They flicker over my body, taking me in, in a more calculating way than when we first met earlier tonight.

She steps forward and asks quietly, “Are you…?”

It’s as if I manifested this moment with my roller-coaster imagination. When I don’t answer right away, my mouth open in hesitance, I know the jig is up.

“Sorry,” Mel rushes out. “Sorry, I just…You know, we just had our baby a few months ago and I just recognized…”

She gestures up and down my body. Suddenly, I’m self-conscious about the tight fit of this skirt, wishing I was back at Nate’s in baggy sweats, eating out of a Ben & Jerry’s pint.

“No, I understand. It’s just…” I glance toward the dining room, where the conversation seems to be flowing a little easier. Eva’s little voice even pops in now and then. “I just haven’t let everyone know yet.”

“Nathan?”

The flush crawls up to my cheeks. “Oh, he knows.” A discreet cough. “Just, um, Eva and Chris. I’m only employed by Nathan over the summer, so I didn’t think it was worth making a big deal about it.”

Mel turns back to the bottles, carefully pouring wine into each. She glances my way again, curiosity obviously piqued. “How far along are you? Can’t be much, you’re reallywearingthat skirt.”

I grin indulgently at the comment. “Two and a half months, about. I actually have an appointment soon—I’m a little behind.”

Mel hums. “You’ll be hearing the heartbeat, then, if you haven’t already.”

My own heart jumps at the thought. So far, I’ve been thinking of the baby as that little bean shape on the ultrasound screen. Aside from the nausea and fatigue, both of which are wearing off a bit, it doesn’t quite feel real yet.

“Well, I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.” She reaches out and lays a hand on top of mine. For a moment, I feel a frizzle of connection. She’s a genuinely compassionate person, and those are rare.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Mel carries two of the glasses back into the dining room, lightening the mood with a soft joke.

Alone, I listen to the soft chatter as I gather the rest of the glasses. All of a sudden, I’m filled with a yearning I haven’t felt in a long time.

Family.

It’s something that’s always been missing in my life. I have Russ, of course, but…

Seeing Nate with a whole family like this. Not just one brother, but another—and a sister-in-law as wonderful as Mel. And Eva, who I can hear chiming in to the laughter of the adults, is obviously enjoying the expansion of people to dote on her.

My mind goes back to the baby.

If—when—I leave Nathan and go to Germany, or wherever I end up, it’ll be just the baby and me. Like I did, they’ll grow up in a stunted support system of two. Always questioning their worth; always having trouble navigating how to let others in.

Even with Will, I struggled with that. I always have. Until Nathan and Eva.

Settling into the ache in my chest, I make sure to savor this moment. Surrounded by laughter and the tentative conversation of two halves of a whole getting to know each other.

If only I could have something like this.

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