Page 100 of Break My Fall

“Do we gots to live wiv daddy again?” she asked, and I couldn’t hold in the sob that caused. My poor child. She was terrified we would go back to the miserable life we had with Edward. The fact she had asked that just showed how much the worry was on her mind.

“No Willow. That’s never going to happen. We will never have to live with daddy again, okay?”

“Good, cos I don’ts wants to,” she told me firmly.

“I…I’ve been at the hospital,” I admitted as I fought to keep breathing enough to get the words I needed to say out. “Your brother was born, honey, but he…he never woke up. He…he’s gone to heaven. Do you know what that means?” She shook her head and I took a deep breath as I tried to think of a way to explain that she may understand.

“Can we goes there to see my brother?” she asked.

“No peanut. We can’t go to heaven. Heaven is the place where people go when they die. It’s a beautiful place where everyone gets to be peaceful and happy. Your brother, Noah…he…he’s gone there now.”

“But I wants him to live with us.”

“I know, Me too, but he…he can’t,” I was fighting back more tears and finding it hard to speak.

“Your brother was special, princess,” Nico said as he dropped to his haunches at my side and grabbed Willow’s hand in his. “He was too special to stay here with us. Instead he had to go and live up in heaven with the angels.”

“Will he likes it up there?”

“Sure he will. He’ll get to play with all of the other angels in the clouds,” Nico told her enthusiastically.

“Maybe we can see him if we goes on the airplane again!” Willow cried excitedly. “Hunter, can we goes on the airplane again? Then we’ll be up in the clouds too and we can see my brother.”

I stumbled to my feet and through to the kitchen, in an attempt not to let Willow see me crying, but the hope in her voice was killing me.

“No, sweetie,” I heard Kai cut in. “We can’t see Noah. No one can go to heaven until it’s their time to go.”

“Is that why mommy’s sad? Because we don’t gets to see him?”

“That’s right, munchkin. Even though we know Noah is happy with the angels, we’re sad that he doesn’t get to be with all of us,” Hunter explained.

Arms wrapped around me where I stood with my face in my hands, and when I glanced up, I realized it was Sam who had me encased in a huge hug.

Moments later I felt little arms wrapping around the tops of my legs and when I looked down, Willow was clutching onto me, as her huge blue eyes met mine.

“It’s okay, mommy. I promise I won’t goes to live wiv the angels. I wants to stay here with you, and Kai, and Hunter, and Nic Nic, and Cam.” She told me. “Oh, and Sam, and Garth….and Dozy. Don’t forget Dozy.”

“I know, peanut,” I sniffled as Sam released me from his arms so I could bend down to pick her up and hug her properly. “I love you so much, Willow.”

“I love you too, mommy.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me for a moment before pulling back. “Do you wants to see my birds house now? Tyler said we might gets a family of birds to live there.”

“Really?” I gasped. “That would be so awesome, right?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded. As soon as I placed her on her feet she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the table where Ty and Emilia now sat.

“Hey Tyler,” I greeted as I forced a smile. I didn’t know him well, but I had been introduced to him by Parker, his older brother who was one of the partners at Milite. I hadn’t really spoken with him much, but he had seemed nice. I knew he was a very close friend of Emilia’s.

Willow started chattering away about the small wooden birdhouse she had covered with bright paint, as the guys settled in seats around me.

I smiled and tried to keep up with Willow, but it was hard when I was so tired and when my head was such a mess.

Sam brought us all coffee and some cookies he had baked, and once again I found myself fighting back tears at the simple realization that there was no reason I couldn’t have a cup of coffee. I wasn’t pregnant anymore, and I didn’t have my child to breast feed.

“Can we take you up to rest, baby?” Hunter asked In hushed tones from where he sat beside me. “You look wiped out.”

“I should stay with Willow,” I argued.

“She’s fine. She’s having a blast with Tyler, Emilia, and Sam. Come on, Maddie. You need to try and sleep,” he told me, and I knew he was right. I hadn’t slept a wink all night and after going through the labor too, I felt exhausted. I gave a weak nod.

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