Page 10 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“I understand that.” I was somewhat shocked at my inability to feel angry at him.

“On a lighter note, I managed to kick my addiction, graduated from law school, and secured a great position at a firm. I met my wife shortly after on the job. She was filling in for my assistant for some months—that’s how we met.”

Jeez, I wonder how many times he bent her over on his desk and banged her brains out before he popped the question.Ugh,I didn’t want to think about it.

“There’s always been this emptiness in my life, no matter how much I achieved. Nothing filled that void for me. I knew I needed to get in touch with you, and I know you may find this hard to believe, but I do love you … very much.” He pulled out his wallet and opened it in front of me. “I’ve had this picture of you forever.”

My throat began to swell as my eyes filled with tears. I tried to blink them away as fast as I could.

“You were only six months old here.” He sighed. “Please forgive me. I didn’t know what it meant to be a father when I got your mother pregnant. The whole pregnancy had freaked me out, which is why I didn’t get involved. I was a coward and easily influenced by my mother—much to my shame.” Noah slid his hand across the table and reached for mine. A spark of electricity jolted through my body upon contact, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too.

I didn’t know what to make of his explanations. He sounded genuine. I just didn’t know what to say.

“I want you to spend some time with me and get to know me better. I want to earn your trust and be the father you always deserved. Come to California with me for the rest of the year, Aria. I promise you won’t need for anything. Just give me a chance to make it all up to you.”

How could I say no to those eyes? He was undeniably charming by nature. There was a huge part of me that wanted to escape my shithole of a life and run away from Rob and my annoying siblings, my overbearing mother included. She never protected me from my psycho stepdad.

What would Noah do if he knew the truth?I wondered.

“I can get you enrolled in the best school in the state, and the weather’s warm all year round. I know it’s going to be impossible if I ask your mom, but if it’s something you’d like, I’m sure you could convince her.”

And there it was: the decision that would change my entire outlook on love and sex forever.

“Okay, I’ll come,” I responded. “I think a change of scenery would be good for me.”

“Really?” His face lit up. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”

My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly realized that I liked making him happy.

“Try one of these.” He smiled charismatically while pointing at our plate of appetizers.

It was my first time eating oysters, and much to my surprise, they were actually tasty.

****

The rest of our dinner conversation was pleasant, and the food was impeccably delicious. I had more questions for him, but for some reason they didn’t matter anymore. I just wanted to hear about everything that he was interested in—places he had traveled to, people he had met. It turned out that he was very athletic as well and had a strict gym regimen, working out six days a week. Noah listened to all the musical genres that I was into, which was awesome, and he even admitted that he had a tattoo. He wouldn’t tell me of what, or where it was located. That remained a mystery.

We spent two hours chatting away, laughing and enjoying each other’s company while indulging in our meals. I discovered so much about him. It made me crush on him even more. I was scared because my moral compass had gone haywire, spinning in all directions, unable to guide me between right and wrong.

Noah ordered a delicious New York cheesecake for dessert, which we shared between us. I was impressed by his perfect table manners. My stepdad was the worst person to have dinner with. He broke just about every rule of proper dining etiquette. I guess that explained why Mom didn’t like to eat out with him.

Time seemed to go by much too fast, and before I knew it, our dessert plates had been cleared.

“I should get you home soon before your mother flips out.” Noah glanced at his watch. It was a silver Rolex.

“Yeah, I’m all set.”

He paid the bill, tipping our server generously, which only made me conclude that he was definitely wealthy. He shrugged on his long black trench coat and helped me get into my white pea jacket.

We left the restaurant, stepping out on the sidewalk. The sun had finally set, and I was a little surprised when he took my hand into his. I think he noticed me flinch a bit.

“It’s dark and we’re downtown. I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”

Oh, believe me, I don’t want you to let me out of your sight either,I said to myself.We got in another cab and were soon heading back to my place. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until the car started moving.

“Are you sleepy, baby?”

Oh my God, he called mebaby. This was totally new territory for me. It made me smile.

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