Page 11 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“I didn’t sleep well last night,” I said. “Granddad used to drive me around the neighborhood in his Cadillac whenever I had trouble sleeping. He said I’d go out like a light within five minutes of cruising the block. I tend to get sleepy in moving vehicles from time to time.”

“I bet it’s because of today, isn’t it?”

I nodded, feeling shy all of a sudden.

Noah shifted closer, his intoxicating scent infusing all around us. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said, “You can rest on my chest. I’ll wake you up when we arrive at your place.”

I didn’t know how to receive his affections, but there was a part of me that so badly needed it because I had been starved and deprived of it for a long time. His eyes were so warm and engaging. I gently settled my body against him, resting my head on his chest. His cologne … Gosh, I needed to figure out what he had on so that I could buy a replica of it. Or maybe I could ask him to give me one of his shirts and secretly spray his cologne all over it. But how would I manage that? It wasn’t like he was going to take me back to his hotel. However, Ididhave the rest of the week …

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“No, thankyou,” he whispered. “Thank you for allowing me back in your life, princess.”

Princess? I always felt the slightest twinge of jealousy whenever I saw my girlfriends with their loving fathers. Hearing Noah speak so sweetly to me made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like he was melting my iced-up barriers and knocking down my titanium walls with little effort. This scared me—big time.

****

The drive home took about twenty minutes. I felt uncomfortable when he insisted to walk me to my apartment door. The place my family lived in wasn’t exactly the best or the cleanest building in the city.

“I can’t believe you live here,” said Noah.

I felt embarrassed and was on the verge of tears while we took the elevator up to my floor. This wasn’t the kind of life I wanted for myself. I never asked to live in this crappy dwelling. I was forced.It was evident that he wasn’t hiding his distaste at the abomination that was my current place of residence.

He noticed my reaction and frowned. “Aria, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just thought your mother’s husband would have done a better job at providing for you guys.”

“It’s fine.”

No, it wasn’t. My pride was crushed.

“I know what you meant,” I added. “I don’t exactly like living here either, but it’s close to his job and that saves money on gas—at least that’s the excuse he gives us.” This conversation was stirring up so much anger inside of me. I had to force it all down, deep into my emotional well, where my pristine water turned black and murky.

Noah’s mysterious eyes were studying me once again, worried that he had hurt me, but I refused to reveal such vulnerability. It would have felt too awkward. We were standing only inches away from each other, and the air seemed to shift between us as we waited in silence.

The elevator stopped with adingwhen it reached the eighth floor. I was first to walk out, and he followed, catching up beside me. It was a short stroll down the hallway covered in puke-green carpeting before we reached my apartment door. I fished through my handbag and pulled out my keys. My heart was beating like a drum. I’d never felt like this before, even when I went out on dates with the hottest guys from school. Meeting Noah had forever ruined me because no one else could ever compare to his perfection. How could they? He was clearly the most attractive man alive.

“Well, this is me.” I glanced at him, showing a hint of an appreciative smile.

“You have my number, Aria. You can call me anytime—I mean it. If you’re ever in an emergency or you need to see me, I’ll be on the next available flight.” He looked at me so lovingly and cupped my face, pressing his lips to my forehead. It left me feeling a little light-headed when he pulled back.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s my duty as your father.” He stared intensely into my eyes.

Something was pulling me toward him with such force. I was finding it difficult to resist that compelling attraction. When I leaned in to kiss his cheek, my lips caught the corner of his mouth, barely brushing the edge.

Oh my God. Why did I do that?

I panicked and pulled back an inch, worried to meet his eyes. He didn’t move, and I was positive I heard him breathe out in the most erotic way. Maybe it was all in my head … most likely.

Noah slid his arms around my waist and hugged me. It lasted longer this time, and I enjoyed every second of it. Bluebirds were singing, butterflies were fluttering all around us, and the sunshine was beaming down, bathing us with its warmth. Regardless of how animatedly Disneythat sounds, I’d escaped this hellish apartment to a little piece of paradise, if only for a moment in my mind.

“I love you, sweet angel.”

My heart swelled as my arms found their way around his neck. I took comfort in the physical exchange of affection between us, and stole a moment to breathe him in so that the scent of his cologne would linger in my nose before my stepdad’s disgusting cigarette smoke assaulted my sense of smell.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he said.

Please don’t,I quietly pleaded.

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