Page 54 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

Noah suddenly switched gears with the stick shift and sped past an SUV. The sound of the engine overpowered the music.

Say it, come on …

I looked down at his hand that was resting on the gearshift, and slowly began to trace on his skin with my left index finger: I … ♥ … U …

The corner of his mouth tugged upwards into a smile as he took my hand in his and raised it to his lips. He kissed it so sweetly before he let go and started tracing a response on my left thigh:

I … ♥ … U … MORE.

I was convinced he felt the goose bumps on my skin. That was the effect he had on me. I couldn’t control the way my body reacted to his touch. It all came so naturally. I was elated with happiness, and dangerously losing myself in a delusional fantasy where Noah was my boyfriend and I was his secret lover. That alternate universe was much more appealing. Too bad it wasn’t real.

We drove for the longest while, cruising right along the coast, headed toward Laguna Beach. I enjoyed every moment that I spent with him. My stepdad had never spent one on one time with me. He never took an interest in any of the things I cared about. He just didn’t give a rat’s ass about me because I wasn’t biologically his.

After an hour on the road, we arrived at the beachfront and pulled into a parking lot. Noah shut off the engine, lifted his shades, and looked at me.

“Are you hungry, princess?”

“No, I ate earlier.”

I glanced at my Chanel wristwatch as I got out of the car; it was half past seven. There was a three-hour time difference between LA and NYC. Typically, at this hour, I would have been in bed, staring up at my ceiling and fantasizing about my life as a high-fashion runway model. Deep down, I always knew these were dreams that would never become real. At almost eighteen, I still had so much self-discovery to do.

Noah walked beside me, resting an arm over my shoulder. “Do you feel like ice cream?” he asked, pulling me closer. “I’ve got the biggest craving that’s been nagging away at me all day.”

“Now that you mention it, a strawberry cone does sound tempting.”

****

The beach strip wasn’t too crowded, since it wasn’t the weekend. But there were enough people scattered around the sand, basking in the last few rays of sunlight. Noah and I stopped by this tropical tiki hut for ice cream, then ambled along the shore together.

“California sunsets are so beautiful.” I glanced over at him, shying away just in time before he met my eyes.

“Yeah, I love living out here.”

My mind wandered as I looked out at the ocean. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice the football that was heading straight toward my head.

“Aria, look out!” Noah quickly stepped in front of me and intercepted it.

“Sorry about that!” a young guy shouted from a distance.

Noah threw back the football while I stood there feeling a little dazed.

“Idiots,” he muttered under his breath. “They can’t even toss a football around properly.” Noah brushed the hair out of my face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t see it coming.” Those blue eyes were making my heart pound uncontrollably.

“I have fast reflexes.”

“I noticed.” I laughed nervously.

He took my hand and held it in his, and I felt like screaming inside because his touch felt so good. I wanted to cry from guilt. This situation that I was in was completely tragic. What had I done wrong in life to meet such an ill fate? To be in love with my own …

“I’m going to take you out on my boat this summer.” He turned his head and looked at me. “Would you like that?” A warm smile spread across his lips.

I nodded and returned his smile.

“Have you decided what you’d like to do for your birthday?” he asked.

“That’s like three weeks away.”

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