Page 22 of Downfall

So, as I slide the thick rubber inside myself, it'shimI'm thinking of. His eyes on me, his hands, his perfect dick gliding in and out of me. With my knees spread wide, I impale myself in a torturous rhythm; the length allowing me to hit just the right spot, even at the awkward angle of my arm. The fingers of my other hand circle my clit, pinch my nipples, and simply caress my stomach and thighs until I'm all but screaming.

As my arms start to tire, I feel it—the slow burn starts in my lower belly—and I pump faster, swirling my fingers erratically around my clit. And when it hits, I scream his name. “Oh, fuck, Kolson!”

When I finally come down from my high, breathing hard and covered in a sheen of sweat, I feel a hint of shame at picturing him. He was the last person I had sex with, the last person to give me an orgasm, and undoubtedly the best sex I've had in my life, but he left. And I really thought we had something.

Eventually, I'll get over him, but today is not that day. And with someone watching me, sending me inappropriate gifts, and forcing me to send my dates away, it will be pretty hard to get under someone new.

I scoot off the bed and make my way to the bathroom to clean up. Turning on the hot water, I start filling the tub and add in my favorite peach-scented oil. While it fills, I walk to the sink to clean my new toy, and I hear my phone vibrate where I left it in the kitchen. Thoroughly cleaning the rubber and my hands, I hope the text isn't from Josh. I would like to go out with him again, but it's not safe for him, and if I'm honest, I'm glad I didn't hook up on a first date. I probably would have regretted it tomorrow.

After putting the dildo in my bedside table for safekeeping, I go to the kitchen to grab my phone and take it with me back to the bathroom. Climbing into the tub, I lay down and get comfortable, a rolled towel behind my neck. I don't check the text until I'm comfortably relaxed in the bath, surrounded by the sweet peach scent.

Water splashes out over the lip of the tub as I sit up, suddenly feeling like there are eyes on me. Do they know I used it? Did they hear me scream out? Or at the very least, did they watch Josh leave?

And for the second time tonight, I feel ashamed. Because not only am I afraid that I have someone watching me, but my stomach is fluttering at the possibility.

Chapter 17

Abby

Two years later

Mysuitcaseispacked,my passport and plane snacks are in my purse, and the only thing left to do is pick up Viv for our flight to Puerto Vallarta. She has been working herself to the bone for the last couple of years building Samsara to a destination spot in Downtown San Diego. It has paid off for her, and she and Max are in all the local magazines lately being praised for their atmosphere and craft cocktails.

I, on the other hand, am still dancing at the Fox Hole. During the week, I volunteer at local nursing homes and disadvantaged youth centers teaching dance. And I’m back in school working on my BFA in Dance. Changing my career choice after I had already finished college is not ideal, but I would have hated my life as an accountant. In a few years, when I don’t want to strip anymore, I’ll open a dance school.

With both of us being so busy, Viv and I rarely get any time outside of Sunday brunch at Samsara to see each other. This weeklong trip to Mexico is exactly what we need.

Heading through the lobby with my huge, white wheeled suitcase, I stop to say goodbye to Hannah. She’s keeping an eye on my place while I’m gone. I’ve lived in my apartment for just shy of two years, and Hannah has become one of my best friends. We have regular wine nights, watching our favorite shows and talking about the crazy dates she goes on.

My dating life has become stagnant. The last date I went on was with Josh, two years ago. Not that I don’t want to date, I’m afraid to after how that one ended. I even blocked Josh’s number after that.

I haven’t heard from my ‘unknown’ friend in a while, but I know he is lurking. At this point, I have received texts, two packages, and many unsettling feelings of being watched. But I haven’t been hurt or even approached, nor have any of my friends.

The second package was seemingly a gift for my birthday over the summer. Tickets to the ballet, Giselle, and a beautiful dress that fit like a glove. The box and handwriting were the same, so I know it was him. But who he is, I still have no idea.

“Thank you again for watering the plant babies and keeping an eye on my place for me. I owe you,” I say as I reach Hannah’s desk.

“You know it’s no problem. I’m basically sitting here watching everyone’s apartments all day, anyway. But you can buy the wine for our next Love is Blind night.” She grins at me, knowing full well that I always supply the wine.

“Yeah, alright, lush. I’ll get you an extra bottle of your favorite for the trouble, at least. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.” I wink at her and hand her my key, backing away toward the front door when I see my Uber pull up.

“No promises,” she calls. “Have an amazing time without me!”

I invited her to join us, but she couldn’t get the days off work. She’s only slightly bitter. And as much as I wanted her to come, I am also excited to spend some quality time with my number one.

Viv doesn’t know that I upgraded us to first-class and got us a suite at the resort. We are going to have the time of our lives.

The resort is to die for. Every single room has an ocean view, the top-shelf drinks are all-inclusive, and the best part: it’s adults-only.

When we arrived, the concierge immediately took our bags and handed us flutes of champagne. Checking in was a breeze, and we were given the quick rundown of where the major areas were and about nightly events. We pre-booked a spa day, but other than that, our plans involve the beach bar and the pool bar, so we don’t have much of an itinerary to plan around.

Viv was absolutely floored when we sat down in our first-class seats on the airplane, but it’s nothing compared to the look on her face when we are ushered into the suite by a hotel employee, our luggage on his golden wheeled cart. Viv isn’t one to show an emotion as strong as giddiness often, so I am thrilled to have put that smile on her face.

“Oh my goddess, Abby! I can’t believe you did this. It’s too much!” she says, giving me a tight squeeze before taking in the room again.

“It’s not even close to enough for everything you’ve done for me over the years, so shut up and enjoy this week with me.”

The suite is enormous. The common area has an open floor plan. A full living room is set up in front of glass doors leading to an outdoor seating area, a hot tub, and a swim-up pool. To the left of the entryway is a small kitchen with a mini-bar and a four-top dining table. At the back of the room, on either wall, is a door that leads to a bedroom, each with their own en suite bathroom. The entire suite is larger than most apartments back home.

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