Page 7 of Didn't See That Coming

I manage a weak smile, then turn around to face thelooming school building. Okay, so it’s actually a really pretty building and doesn’t do much looming, but I swear I can feel the school looking down at me and judging me. Right, I’m officially losing it. I tighten my hold on my messenger bag, take a deep breath, and mutter, “I’m the GOAT. I’m the GOAT.” Except now I’m thinking of the animal instead of the acronym.

“Ci Kiki!” someone cries out from inside the building.

I look up and spot Eleanor Roosevelt, aka the little sister I’ve always longed for, waving crazily at me from inside the reception hall. Immediately, my muscles loosen and my legs spring back into action, taking me up the steps two at a time. “Eleanor Roosevelt!” When I first got to know her through her big brother, George Clooney, I made the mistake of calling her Ellie. She gave me this look that seared all the way through my blackened soul and said, “My name is Eleanor Roosevelt Tanuwijaya. You can call me Eleanor Roosevelt.” I pointed outto her that even the original Eleanor Roosevelt probably didn’t go by Eleanor Roosevelt, and she said, “Yes, but I do.” And that was that.

She throws her skinny little tween arms around my waist the moment I get inside the building. “I can’t believe we’re actually in the same school!”

I hug her back, breathing deeply. Eleanor Roosevelt is probably the only good thing about switching schools. I can’t explain the bond that we have. We each have friends our own age, but there’s just something about Eleanor Roosevelt that reminds me of myself. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s so rare to come across someone just as loud and unapologetically obnoxious as myself. People are always telling Eleanor Rooseveltto quiet down, or stop talking, or stop meddling, and I totally get her frustration at having to make herself smaller and quieter for other people.

Even now, Eleanor Roosevelt is yammering a mile a minute. “Oh my god, you look ah-may-zing in the school uniform! Of course I expected nothing less from you, Ci Kiki.” She stops and gasps, her eyes widening like an anime character. “Did you shorten your school skirt?” she whispers in a mock-scandalized tone.

“Maybe a little.” I wink at her, and she squeals with laughter.

“I love it!” Then she hesitates. “But maybe others might not?” Just as my anxiety spikes once more, she quickly waves her hands. “Nah, of course they will. You’re going to set a new trend, I know it. Save us from these eighteenth-century bags, am I right?” She gestures at her own pleated skirt, which goes halfway down her calves, making her look awkwardly tall.

“They are incredibly unflattering,” I agree. I totally expected that all the older girls would have shortened their skirts, but Eleanor Roosevelt’s reaction makes it obvious that no one else has, which is worrisome. Still, as she said, maybe I’ll set a new trend.

I’m nothing if not an optimist.

“Anyway, there’s someone I’ve been dying to introduce to you,” Eleanor Roosevelt says. She doesn’t wait for my reply before turning around and calling out, “Sarah Jessica Parker! C’mere!”

A bespectacled girl walks out from behind one of the ginormous pillars at the front of the school and approaches us with a shy smile.

I bite back my grin. “Sarah Jessica Parker, huh?”

“It’s actually Sarah Jessica Parker Susanti. Sarah Jessica Parker is an actress best known for playing Carrie Bradshaw onSex and the City,” she says with all the earnestness in the world.

I want to hug this kid. “Yeah, I know who SJP is.”

“My mom is a huge fan.”

“I figured,” I say solemnly.

“Anyway,” Eleanor Roosevelt says, “we’ve been so excited about you starting here at Xingfa, because we have the most amazing opportunity for you. C’mere.” She links her arm through mine and leads me firmly through the large reception hall and into a side corridor that’s a bit less crowded.

Uh-oh. George has always said that his little sister is going to either appear on the cover ofForbesone day or end up in prison for running a worldwide scam. I mean, I love the kid like no other, but I can totally see it. “Yeah?” I say warily.

Eleanor Roosevelt gives Sarah Jessica a signal, and Sarah Jessica taps on her phone with a flourish. Sad violin music wails from the phone. I glance around us as students stream past. A few of them are definitely giving us curious side-eyes, but most of them are busy reading books or scrolling through their phones as they walk. Still, I do wish that Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica Parker hadn’t chosen this very moment to do this strange presentation.

Eleanor Roosevelt clears her throat and starts talking in a dramatic voice. “Life can be so lonely sometimes, especially when you’re in school.”

I want to point out to her that when you’re in school,you’releastlikely to be lonely, because you’re surrounded by friends all the time, but I’m dying for this to be over, so I just nod and give her an encouraging smile.

“You’re snowed under tons of schoolwork—projects, tests, and exams, oh my! How utterly depressing. Is this the fate of our youth? Are we destined to spend our best years languishing away, studying and studying and studying?” she moans. Then she brightens and holds up an index finger, just as the sad violin strings are replaced with a jaunty, uplifting tune. Wow, she’s practiced this. “But it’s okay, because Lil’ Aunties Know Best is here to solve all your dating problems!”

I laugh and clap before I realize I have no idea how Lil’ Aunties is going to solve anyone’s problems. But Eleanor Roosevelt is delivering her speech with such passion that I’m, like, heck yeah, solve world hunger, Lil’ Aunties!

“We may be young, but the Lil’ Aunties will find the perfect match for you. You want someone tall, pale, and handsome? Done. You want someone who’s into algebra? We got you covered. You want someone who will be respectful toward your elders and has at least one athletic extracurricular activity? We’ve got just the right person for you! WhatsApp us today and meet your soulmate tomorrow!” Both Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica do jazz hands, and the music ends.

I clap, though not too loudly, because I’m super aware of all the stares from other students as they make their way toclass.

“What do you think?” Eleanor Roosevelt says, her eyes shining with barely restrained excitement.

I have to fight to keep the grin on my face. “I mean, yeah,that was great. Very, ah, very convincing. But I think we should go to—”

“Yasss!” Eleanor Roosevelt turns to Sarah Jessica, and the two of them bump fists. “I knew you’d love the idea. I just knew that you’d get it.”

I have to smile at that. “If anyone were to run a successful matchmaking service, it would be you. But, um, are most parents going to be okay with their thirteen-year-olds dating?” Most parents in Indonesia don’t even want their sixteen-year-olds dating.

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