Page 45 of Didn't See That Coming

“Well,” Peishan adds, “to be honest, it was kind of annoying at first.”

“Thanks,” I mutter without much venom, because what they’re saying is kind of blowing my mind. I recall my conversation with Peishan where she told me I was krill, and I feel the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. I don’t know why. I guess this is giving me some context, at least.

“The reason it was annoying,” Peishan continues, “is because it reminded us of our own shit. All the crap we’ve learned to put up with over the years…”

“Did you know, for example, that the boys’ swim team is given preference over the girls’ team?” Zoelle says. “Every year, the boys’ team gets to choose which day and time they want to practice for the year. The girls never get first pick. And ifthey have an upcoming swim meet, they get to kick us out ofthe pool for extra practice, but if we have an upcoming meet, we’re not allowed to book extra time at the pool.”

“Seriously?” I gape at her.

“Yep. And a couple years ago, the school started a robotics club and they—like, I wouldn’t say they discouraged girls from joining—but they were very definitely prioritizing the boys. Mr.Tan was in charge of setting up the club, and he’d be, like, ‘Boys, this is a really exciting opportunity. It’ll look so good on your college apps, et cetera.’ ” Peishan scowls. “I put up my hand and was, like, ‘Teacher, is it open to girls as well?’ And he looked so surprised. He was, like, ‘Oh! Yes.’ But he didn’t sayanything more about it. Then, later on, I found out he formed an email chain personally inviting a bunch of boys to join the robotics team.”

“Wow.” I shake my head, unable to find the words to convey just how enraging it is to listen to this.

“Yep, and you know what makes everything so much worse?” Zoelle says. “It’s their hypocrisy. They’re always, like, ‘We’re a progressive school! We’re raising feminists! World-class leaders of both genders!’ But it’s all just a front.”

“To be fair, they might believe in their own bullshit,” Peishan says. “They might genuinely think they’re progressive, but their own internal biases keep getting in the way.”

“Doesn’t matter if they mean to be misogynistic or not. The end result is the same,” Zoelle grumbles.

We all nod, and it dawns on me that although I feel enraged, I also feel much better. The whole reason why I was infuriated was because of Principal Lin and how differently he’d treated me and Liam. But now, knowing that I’m not the only one going through this, that I haven’t actually imagined it, that I wasn’t just being “sensitive,” it’s so affirming that I actually choke up.

“We watchedMoxiewhen it came out on Netflix—have you seen that?” Zoelle asks.

I nod. Ironically, when I watchedMoxie,I thought it was unrealistic how sexist a school could be. Ha. Little did I know.

“And you’re, like, a real-life Moxie.”

A shocked laugh escapes me. “What?”

“Okay, maybe that’s going a bit far,” Zoelle says. “I mean, you kind of gave up.”

I gape at her. “Uh, I gave up? You guys all bullied me into giving up!”

Peishan holds up her hands. “Whoa, for the record, we never joined in with the others. We never called you names.”

“Okay, so you stood by and watched as I was bullied. Good for you.”

Peishan and Zoelle exchange guilty looks. “I know. We suck. I’m sorry,” Peishan says. She reaches out and gives my arm an awkward pat. “That’s why we’re reaching out to you now.” She takes a deep breath. “I—I’m grateful that you’ve been speaking up during group discussions. I thought Jonas’s idea was…” She grimaces.

“Shitty?” I suggest. “Sexist as hell? Tired? Unoriginal?”

She gives me a reluctant smile. “Yes, all that. But I didn’t dare say anything—I mean, contradict Jonas Arifin? Are you kidding? But you did it, and I think what we’re coming up with now is so much better. I’m actually kind of excited to present it to everyone. So thank you for—you know—being different.”

Being different. What a strange concept that is. I wasn’t different at Mingyang. I blended in. I didn’t like standing out, but now I’m being thanked for it, and I don’t know what to say to that. I clear my throat. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Principal Lin told me that if I continue ‘disrupting the group discussions,’ I’ll be expelled.”

Zoelle and Peishan gape at me. “Seriously?” Peishan hisses in outrage. “He can’t do that!”

“Uh, well, he’s the principal of this school, so I think it means he can, in fact, do that.”

Peishan’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “Don’t worry. I’ll be the disruptive one during group discussions.”

I swallow. I’m not sure how I feel about this. “I don’t want to get you in trouble….”

“What’s he going to do, expel both of us?” Peishan snorts.

There’s silence. “Uh,” I say, “yes?”

“Well, there’s Liam too,” Peishan argues. “He doesn’t like Jonas’s ideas either.”

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