Page 2 of Didn't See That Coming

Dudebro10:I bet! You’ve been looking forward to that starter for months. Let me guess: You want to send them a strongly worded email.

Sourdawg:VERY strongly worded. I can’t do it alone.

Dudebro10:Of course not. The level of passive aggression we’re aiming for requires teamwork. Okay. Let’s see. “To Whom It May Concern…”

Sourdawg:“I would just like to flag—”

Dudebro10:“—as a matter of utmost importance—”

Sourdawg:“—the fact that my order was DOA and is very definitely not made of unicorn breath.”

Dudebro10:“I thought I’d bring this to your attention.”

Sourdawg:“Looking forward to your timely reply on this very serious matter.”

Dudebro10:“Regards, A Disappointed Customer.”

I lean back in my seat and review the email we’ve composed together.

Dudebro10:One of our best works, I must say.

Sourdawg:I like how you managed to slip in “as a matter of utmost importance.” A true masterstroke.

Dudebro10:/bows. Thank you. I appreciate that. I thought “Looking forward to your timely reply” was a particularly nice touch.

Sourdawg:I thought it would put some pressure on them.

Dudebro10:It definitely will.

Sourdawg:Truly, the perfect email.

Dudebro10:You’re not sending it.

Sourdawg:Of course not.

I can’t help but snort at this. Then I realize that my cheeks hurt, because I’ve been grinning nonstop since our round ended.

Dudebro10:You should send them something, though. Like, a real complaint. I mean, you don’t have to be a dick about it, but they should know that their product arrived dead.

Sourdawg:IDK, bro. Can’t I just order another batch and hope they do it right this time?

Aaand now my smile’s gone. Not because Sourdawg is such an adorkable pushover but because of the word “bro.” Every time he calls me “bro” or “man” or “dude,” it feels like a needle pricking into my skin and letting air out. Erm, blood?Okay, gross. All I’m saying is, it makes me feel deflated. And it makes me want to scream “I’m not a dude!” at him, which is stupid, because whose fault is it that Sourdawg thinks I’m a guy? Who was it that chose the most cis male–sounding name in the history of names?

/raises hand

In my defense, I didn’t do it for shits and giggles. And I definitely didn’t do it thinking I would form any meaningful friendships on, of all places,Warfront Heroes.Don’t get me wrong: as far as gameplay goes, it’s right up there with the best of them. The weapons are so creatively varied there’s no way anyone will get bored, and the character designs are the most diverse in the history of games. Plus, there are no overtly sexualized female characters with watermelon-sized boobs bouncing wildly as they run, which is saying something in the gaming world—a world dominated by very, very frustrated guys. (And I don’t mean frustrated as in “Gah, my coffee machine broke!” I mean the other kind of frustrated. The sexual kind, in case that wasn’t obvious.)

Despite all these progressive steps that the makers ofWarfront Heroeshave taken to be more inclusive, they still haven’t managed to win the last battle: harassment. Sure, a few of the more overt trolls have been banned. But in order to get banned, a player would have to make truly awful, abusive comments that count as threats. Anything less than that and all they get is a gentle reminder from a mod.

When I first started playing, I naively chose the name Doom&Bloom. Okay, maybe it was sort of a stupid name,but whatever, most people’s handles aren’t serious. There are people called Puffbug and LightningLord, so I was sure I’d blend right in.

Except the thing with Doom&Bloom was that the word “bloom” apparently marked me as a girl, and I was quickly inundated with messages from the other players. The messages ranged from “Girls can’t shoot. This is a REAL game, so fuck off and stick to your dolls” to the more succinct “Boob pic?” to actual rape threats. And that’s only in the game’s waiting room. Once a round began and the adrenaline started flying high, the abuse became so much worse. Most players interact with one another verbally. I have a headset, and the first few battles I played, I made the mistake of speaking to communicate with my team. As soon as they realized I was a girl, people I was grouped with reacted in one of the following ways:

“Great, we’re gonna fucking lose ’cuz the algorithm grouped us with a chick. Fuck it, I’m just gonna sit in the starting area and wait until we lose this round so I can join a new group.”

---