"I'd be alone all week long. No support network, no family and no friends. I would once again sacrifice everything for him, and he would lose nothing," I reminded him. "Darius would eventually meet someone else he can be with openly and just stop coming back to me one day." I relaxed against him. "As much as we hate it, we are where we are meant to be."
Zander held me tighter. "So you're meant to be in bed with me naked?" Zander asked cheekily.
"I'm not naked."
"You could be." Zander's hand drifted down to brush against the side of my breast.
I pinched Zander's nipple hard and smiled at his yelp. "We've had this discussion. I can't give you what you want or what you deserve because it's always going to be Dare for me."
Zander smirked, "I know, but I wouldn't be a guy if I didn't try, Mora." He snuggled his head against mine. "I've missed having this in my life; a woman to share my bed with, to make plans for the future with, to make love to."
I frowned at Zander, "Have you had a long-term relationship before, Zander?"
Zander's smile faded a little. "Yeah, a high school sweetheart. We were together all through university too."
I wasn't going to ask how she felt about his occupation at that time. "What happened?" I asked, already seeing the remembered pain in his face.
The smile was completely gone now. "She got pregnant. We decided to get married. The day before the wedding, she was with her sister, going to the spa for their pre-wedding treatments, when a truck failed to stop at a red light." Zander swallowed, sitting up and facing away from me. "It killed them both instantly. My wife and my unborn child. The sister suffered major brain damage. She died when they took her off the ventilator a few weeks later."
I sat up and hesitantly put my arms around him. "You hide it so well, I would never have known."
Zander patted my arm. "It was a long time ago, Mora. A year before you even moved to England," he assured. "I guess Warren and I just decided to keep things casual after that."
"Warren?" I asked, confused.
Zander nodded his head, "He was dating Carol's sister. We both lost the women we loved at the same time."
"Oh God." I sagged against him. It explained so much about the brothers it wasn't funny.
Zander turned and gave me a sad smile. "We went through it together. It's good to see him moving on with Sophie. It's given me hope that I might find someone to try again with."
I saw that look in Zander's eyes. "I'm sorry I can't be that person for you, Zander. I wish I could, but..."
Zander held me tightly. "I know, Mora. You don't need to worry about it. I know who you belong to." He kissed the top of my head. "Let's get some sleep."
I lay down in his arms, feeling utterly heartbroken. "Is that why you've been so nice to me?"
"No, Mora," Zander breathed against me. "Carol was taken from me. Dare gave you up. It's an entirely different scenario. I've been here for you because that's what friends do."
"I hope you find her soon, Zander," I murmured. "The woman who will deserve you."
I felt Zander exhale hard. "Me too."