Page 89 of One Secret

I blink at her, surprised. We'd both requested a Plan B pill from the hotel pharmacy. And she'd taken it once we were back in the hotel room. Was she still mad about the sex this morning?

'I didn't mean to be melodramatic,' I justify. 'But I was concerned. A kid would—'

'—be a living nightmare for you.'

'—mess up your plans.'

We each finish the sentence at the same time. Then pause as neither answer is what the other expected.

She turns to me, surprised:

'What?'

I've not blushed since I was a kid but these last few days with Darcy have been testing out the old faculties. Again, my face feels warm as I try to explain.

'You said you had plans for a new life. On the plane. That's what you said, right? A fresh start?'

'Yeah...' she draws out the word slowly.

I'm not sure how she's not stringing together my implications.

'So, what kind of asshole would I have to be, to screw that up for you just because I'm too fucking horny to wear a damn rubber?'

Those dark, sooty lashes of hers flutter rapidly.

'Wait, wait... that's why you were so pissed off this morning? You were mad at yourself?'

She stares at me dumbfounded, like this had never even occurred to her.

What the hell has she been—?

'Well, yeah. Who did you think I was mad at?'

'I...'

Darcy doesn't seem able to piece together the rest of her thoughts, so I pivot the conversation.

'You're right to set your life on a different path if you're wanting something more real than this. And I just didn't want to fuck that up for you.'

'Thanks...' The word seems spoken merely on instinct, drawn from her without any real energy. Darcy is looking around the room but her stare has glazed over. Completely lost in thought.

For a while, I leave her to her reverie, curious but easily distracted by my exhaustion. I lay beside her, stroking her arm and nibbling occasionally at the ridge of her shoulder. Each time I've been with Darcy for the last five months, foreplay has been quick and the aftermath even shorter. Even in our most raw and interconnected moments, there's been a barrier between us... The expectation of a speedy leavetaking. Physically we've been more open, honest, and raw than most couples ever are. But, as soon as the act itself is over... we're strangers.

'Do you ever think...' I murmur, just blathering out loud the thoughts floating sluggishly through my head. 'That every person in the world comes in multiples?'

Darcy sinks further into the bed and turns to look at me.

'You mean like doppelgangers?'

I snort.

'No. I mean like... the version of ourselves that we show to friends. And then another you reveal only to family...'

'One for work... one for lovers...' she says, expanding on the idea.

'Right,' I nod.

'I guess so,' Darcy says, tilting her head in consideration. 'Isn't that how we all operate?'

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