Page 123 of One Secret

'I also want twenty-four-hour surveillance set up on her,' I add. 'The works. Indoor cameras wherever she lives, CCTV tracking when she's in public, a tracer on her phone. Everything.'

'For how long?' Nat's tone is worrisome.

I stare down at Darcy's sleeping face. At the tiny furrow cemented between her brows, even in sleep.

Forever.

'Indefinitely. I'm doubling your pay for the trouble.'

'Pay's not what I'm worried about...'

'You're getting it, anyway. And I'm setting up an account under another name that'll continue to pay you should anything happen to me.'

Nat has gone quiet again until:

'All right.' The tapping on her end is renewed. 'So you want a full stalker mode set up on this woman. You're certain, yeah?'

'That a problem, Nat?' I turn the question back on her. It's the first time she's ever hesitated over an instruction.

'Nu-uh,' Nat reassures. 'It's easy enough to do, boss man. I just thought I'd check you on this. Most girls don't appreciate their beaus spying on them behind their backs. I figure you should be prepared for fallout.'

'Fallout is irrelevant.' I've made my decision. I have a plan. 'Just get it done.'

'Roger that.'

I hang up the call and focus again on Darcy's soft shape in the shadows. When the urge to lean over and wake her with a kiss becomes too strong, I march myself across the room and plant my ass back in the chair. My foot bounces impatiently on the carpet. Following the steady rise and fall of Darcy's breathing and adjusting my lungs to the same rhythm helps me calm down a little.

If the last twenty-four hours have proven anything, it's that love isn't enough. I can love Darcy. I can adore her and want her in my life forever. But that doesn't automatically make me the man that she wants.

People all over the world use love as an excuse for greedy behavior, for selfish entitlement...

Because I love my child, it's acceptable to take my belt to his skin when he's not measuring up to his potential.

Because I love this man, it's forgivable to drag my daughter through an unstable childhood in half a dozen countries.

I refuse to do it.

I cannot give Darcy everything a man should. I'm never going to be someone's husband: home at six, dinner on the table, "how was your day, dear?". I'm never going to be there to take the kids to soccer practice or pick up the groceries.

I'm never going to be the kind of man a woman wants to come home to.

And I'm not about to inject myself into Darcy's life anyway, just because it's what I want.

But I can do something. I can be a father. Of sorts.

In my own way, I can be a father to my child. The kind of father I grew up wanting; one who provides, who protects.

But, to do that, I need to disappear.

Darcy can live the life she wants. She'll make her changes, move away, and find somewhere safe to raise our baby.

And I'll watch.

I'll get Nat to erase whatever Darcy's legal issues are back home. I'll get her a dozen passports so she can live wherever she wishes. I'll send her money (if she'll take it). Hell, I'll buy her a house if she'll let me. I've got a stack pile of income doing fuck all in my bank account. Why shouldn't my kid have it for whatever they want or need?

And I'll keep myself and my own desires out of it.

I'll keep my job, my enemies, and my unstable, scary world far away from the woman I love and my baby girl.

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