Page 66 of Alive and Wells

“You seriously were going to let her do this?”

“She wants to!” He throws his hands up in surrender.

Yanking open the gate, I shrug his hand from my shoulder just in time to see a group of girls heading in our direction. At least twenty of them. Most are locals who have probably done this event before, which makes them even bigger idiots than the first-timer city girls looking to impress a cowboy. No wonder Denny’s hanging around.

The women file past us into the arena, and I frantically scan faces until I see hers.

“Austin?” Cecily’s eyes meet mine and confusion washes over her. “What are you—”

“Nope.” Without stopping, I bend over and grab her by the hips, tossing her over my shoulder in one swift motion. Then I walk away with her. Away from the arena. Away from everybody. As far away as I can get, short of throwing her in the truck and driving home.

“What the hell? What is your goddamn problem? Fuck you.” Her fists hit my back as she flails, trying to break free from my grasp, and my arms grow tighter around her in response.

Finally giving up the fight, she becomes limp. Deadweight slung over my shoulder as I march past pens full of rough stock. She can be pissed off at me. I’m pissed off at her, too.

My feet follow a trail I’ve walked at least a thousand times. The trail toourbarn. I continue past the plaque dedicated to my mom and, shockingly, that’s not the thing consuming my brain.

Once I determine we’re far enough away, I set her down. My hands slam against the barn wall on either side of Cecily, preventing her from running back and joining the herd of girls with death wishes. I’m fucking angry—at her for thinking this was a good idea, at the guys I trusted would look out for her, and at myself for not being here earlier.

“What’s your problem?” she taunts.

“What’s myproblem? My problem is that I leave you alone for a few hours and you try to get yourself fucking killed. My problem is that you let those morons talk you into dangerous shit. What the hell, Cecily? Over my dead body will I let you go out there,” I yell. No, Iexplode. I’m close enough, I’m sure she can feel every word burning on her cheeks. Her lips pull in and she slowly shakes her head like she’s holding herself back from yelling right back at me. “Seriously, that’s the stupidest thing you could do. Jesus Christ—what the fuck were you thinking? You know you could’ve gotten yourself killed. What the hell would have happened if I didn’t show up here? I can’t fucking believe you.”

She stares at me with eyes colder than I thought possible from her, looking me up and down with disdain. “You think you scare me? It’s going to take more than yelling in my face to scare me, Austin. You want to be just like him? Is that it?Hit me then.”

Is that what she thinks I want to do?

I drop my arms and stumble back, taking in her shaking frame. My heart slams into my sternum and rattles down each rib before landing in my stomach at the sight of her. She might’ve said she wasn’t scared, but everything about her body language screams otherwise. I did the one thing I swore to myself I wouldn’t do. I swore to her I wouldn’t do. Clasping my hands behind my head, I pull my gaze up to the rafters. Heat cascades over my neck and face.I can’t believe I just…

“Cecily. I would never… I didn’t mean—I wasn’t trying to scare you. I wouldneverhurt you like that.” I scrub my hands vigorously across my face with a sharp exhale. “I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I fucked this all up. All I wanted was for you to be safe. I was so worried when I found out you were there.”

“It’s a fun intermission event, Austin. It’s not that serious. Not something I deserve to be yelled at over.”

Clearly, the guys didn’t fill her in on all the details.

“It’s considered a dud if nobody ends up in the hospital. They have a habit of picking the rankest steer they have and sending it to kick the shit out of anybody who gets in the way. It’s not as much of a crowd pleaser if they send a friendly little calf out and all the ladies hug it, is it?”

Her raised eyebrow and pursed lips mock me. “I’m not dumb enough to stand right in the line of fire when there’s a damn cow running at me.”

“It’s not about being—are you so desperate for a $200 gift card to the fucking tack store that you’re willing to risk it? Because I’ll give you $300 right now if you are.”

“I didn’t even know what the prize was, actually.”

“Jesus Christ.” I drag a hand down my face. “What possessed you to sign up then?”

Her shoulders shrug half-heartedly. “I wanted to feel alive, I guess. I’m not going to apologize for it. You try living your life knowing it could all come crashing down at any second. Maybe then you’ll understand.”

“Oh, I understand the feeling well, darlin’.” I rub my temples, still staring at the floor. I can’t bear to look at her after what I just did. “But if you’re looking for a ride that’ll make you feel alive and possibly cause serious bodily harm, I’m right here.”

A sputtering laugh is enough to make me look up at her.

“Austin, I’m still pissed off at you. But, I have to tell you, that’s easily the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard somebody say.”

It was embarrassingly cheesy and didn’t exactly have the effect I intended. But, at least I got her to stop being quite so scared, mad, and disappointed in me for a few seconds. I shuffle my boot across loose hay on the ground as we stand in awkward silence.

After a tense few minutes, it feels like I should say something again. “No matter how angry or frustrated I might get, I wouldn’t hit you. I’m not him.”

“I know.”

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