Page 67 of Alive and Wells

“I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you and I would rather die than do anything to hurt you. When I found out you were about to go out there something in me snapped. If I didn’t stop you and something happened, I would never forgive myself.”

She shakes her head, clearly annoyed with me. “I’m an adult capable of making my own choices, though. I don’t need you to rush in pretending to be my knight in shining armour.”

“That might be true, but I told you I would keep you safe. My protection doesn’t only apply when we’re on ranch property or when we’re talking abouthim. I’m going to protect you from anything I think is dangerous. And you can be as mad as you want about it, but I have no problem throwing you over my shoulder and taking you home if it means keeping you safe.”

A huff of air blows from her nose, making her nostrils flare. “Oh, Iwillbe mad about it. Don’t you worry.”

“I’m sure you will, darlin’. I don’t mind, though. Mad Cecily is sexy as hell.” I cross my arms and lean against the wall. “Now, do you want your $300 in cash or should I give it directly to the girly store?”

“Cash. I’m going to bet on Denny’s saddle bronc riding. Unless you’re going to go toss him over your shoulder and carry him away, too? In which case, tell me so I can make the strangest bet ever and walk away from here rich.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Didn’t think so.” She rolls her eyes. “From what he told me, it sounds a lot more dangerous than what I was trying to do. Why aren’t you this worried about him?”

“Because it’s a different situation. For one, he’s been doing this since we were kids. He didn’t move here from the city less than four months ago. For two, I love my brother but not…” I swallow, waiting for her eyes to blink up to meet mine. “But not like the way I love you. That’s why I can’t let anything bad happen to you. That’s why I’m not treating you the same way. I love you.”

“Oh… Austin,” she exhales my name. I can’t fucking breathe with her watching me like this. This is it. The moment when she says this has been a rebound. Nothing serious. And then I go home alone again. Swells of fear and loneliness engulf me from all sides. Her leaving has always been inescapable. Falling in love with her was, too.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” I lie through my teeth. It’s anything but okay, but I’ll learn to live with it, eventually. “I’m the one who went and fell in love knowing damn well you wouldn’t feel the same.Youmade it worth the risk of getting hurt, because you’re incredible and make me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of… whether you’re in my life for a few months or fifty years, it’ll never be enough for me. So,fuck it, I’ll love you for as long as you’re here. I fell for you, knowing I would most likely lose you one day. And if you don’t have the same feelings, or if you want to leave the ranch at the end of the summer, I understand. I’m sure you’ll want to go back to the city once KJ’s not a threat. I just… needed to try.”

Needed to try to give her a reason to stay, even if I’ve given other people the same reason with poor results. Beryl said it was worth the risk and, although I won’t admit it to her, she’s rarely wrong.

“You’re always so confident I’m leaving.” Her arms cross over her chest and she stares at me with narrowed eyes. Though her stance is hostile, those ocean-blue eyes are watery and wistful. “Do you notice how often you make comments about it? You’ve made it clear since day one that it’s not even a question of ‘if’ for you. It’s always ‘when’ I leave. I get the feeling your dad isn’t the only person who’s left by choice, but I think you should know I’m not her. Just like you’re not KJ. We’re talking about me and you, not them.”

Her.So somebody told her about Savannah.

“You came to Wells Canyon because you needed to escape and this was a convenient place to do it. That’s what makes me think you’ll go. You know, once this is all over.” Like Sav. I hate comparing them because I’ve realized they’re really nothing alike except both women used the ranch as an escape and I fell in love in the process. And now, in another moment where history repeats itself, I declare my feelings and get trampled on.Déjà fucking vu.

“That’s why I came here, not why I’m staying. Do you want me to leave?” Cecily steps toward me. Her striking blue eyes searching mine for clues about whatever’s going on in my mind. I’m at a loss for what’s going through my brain right now, but she always seems to be able to tell, even when I can’t. “Because somebody who doesn’t want me to leave probably shouldn’t constantly talk about it. It’s like the night I went to The Horseshoe—I wanted to stay, but then you shut down. You let me go even though it wasn’t what you wanted. So… what do you want, Austin? Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” I whisper. “No. Stay. Please.”

“Then I will.”

For some reason, hearing her say that isn’t enough to remove the vise grip holding steady on my lungs. It’s not enough to ease years’ worth of anxiety, and the softness in her eyes makes me think she understands.

She thinks she’s the one who’s broken, but I’m right there with her.

“You’ve been so focused on earning my trust, but you need to trust me, too. It’s not easy to trust people—I understand that all too well. But I’m here and I’m telling you that I’m not going anywhere. So you gotta trust me. The ranch is my home.Youare my home. There’s nowhere else I would rather be than here with you.”

My shaky, pathetic held breath finally lets go and her arms wrap around my torso, pulling my chest into her face. My wide, open palm falls to her lower back like it was made to rest there, and I hold her close. The sweet coconut scent of her shampoo filling my nose. I focus on the aroma, trying my damndest not to cry. And failing so horribly, I have to loosen the grip I have on her to wipe my damp eyes before they ruin her curls.

“I love you, Austin.”

“You do?”

As if she’s talking directly to my heart, she whispers into my chest, “You’ve never made me feel broken when I can’t handle your touch. Even when I’ve told you about the most fucked up parts of myself, you don’t stop showing me how much you care. And you don’t only care about me—you take care of all the people you love. You’re such a good man without even trying to be. You’re sweet, protective, funny. You read cattle ranching magazines and watchHappy Dayslike a seventy-year-old man. How could I not love you?”

“You’re not broken. Not to me. I’ve never wanted you to feel that way.”

“Neither are you, Aus. I don’t know how anybody could leave you. You’re worthy of having somebody stay, and I want to be that person. I’m not leaving you. Not today, tomorrow, or next year. Not ever. In fifty years, you can die before me so you never need to feel abandoned again.”

And then she’s kissing me. Hard. Not like somebody who thinks I could ever hit her. Like somebody who’s in love and can’t get enough—I know, because it’s exactly how I’m kissing her back.

I move to kiss the soft skin of her neck, goosebumps appearing as I make my way to her ear. “You’re everything. All the time I spent pushing people away was just because I was waiting for you to pull me in. You’re it for me, and I’ve been trying to wait for the right time to tell you how in love with you I am.”

“Show me.” She grabs me by the belt, slamming our hips together. The friction against my cock sends blood rushing to the area, warming my entire body. Her fingers dip under the waist of my jeans, a light touch against my bare skin.

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