Page 81 of The King's Queen

Good, you deserve to feel that piercing pain. You deserve to look over your shoulder. You deserve all of this.

For once, I don’t reprimand my mind.

Kya greets me at the door with a smile as she leads me back to our sparring area. I try to offer my own, but I know it must look more like a grimace. As much as I can see that the assassin wants to push, she doesn’t.

My motions are sloppy tonight. While recently I’ve been able to match Kya punch for punch, and occasionally overtake her, I miss nearly every hit tonight. Doubt filters into my mind like a crack in a damn.

Sensing a switch in mood, Kya rethinks her approach, becoming more offensive and not holding back. I allow each hit to land and bruise my skin. My body is too tired to even care about the pain.

“Come on!” she shouts. “Get angry!”

No response. She huffs, red in the face.

“Fucking say something. Don’t just lay there and push everyone away.”

“I’m not pushing anyone away!”

“Prove it.”

Something within me snaps, and I block her next assault as I rise to my feet. Kya grins, her red makeup making her look more feline than usual. She beckons me forward with two fingers, and I launch myself her way.

I can feel the heat under my skin rising. That familiar pressure builds to the point of pain. Gritting my teeth, I push it down. Angry, hot tears slip from the corners of my eyes before I can stop them.

“Get out of your head. Everything is an energy, use it productively.” She pants between sharp breaths. She has told me this before. Anger is an energy I can use. Happiness, anxiety, sadness, it is all an energy that can fuel me if I don’t let it overtake me first.

The only issue now is I didn’t check my emotions quick enough.

I hone my focus on my rage and pain as I throw punch after punch. Kya’s hits land less frequently as I focus on blocking and dodging with enough ferocity to consider my defense more offensive at this point.

Lucius and his threats. My father and his spiraling madness. Rowan and his secrets and obsession with Mavis. Blaine and his disappearance.

Kya stumbles and just barely misses a far too heavy-handed assault.

Is he even still in Krycolis, or did he flee to some relatives in Vari? Is he safe? Does his leg hurt from riding for so long? Does he know where to find help? Is he dead?

Dead. He could be dead.

“Vera, enough.” Kya hisses as she barely manages to block another blow.

Dead. So many dead.

Kya falls, rolling to the side.

Their blood coats my hands, their screams fill my ears. Dead and it’s all my fault. I need out.

Let me out. Let me out. Let me out let me out let me out let me-

“VERA!”

Kya screams as my balled fists fly open and light explodes into the room. I hear a sizzle as the light burns her eyes and the hairs on her arms. The torches on the wall flicker in response, dancing towards my power in respect.

My friend lands a few feet from me, her palms driving into her eyes.

“…see. I can’t see,” she howls. Kya lifts her chin to display milky white eyes with pure silver streaking down her cheeks. I glance down at my hands in horror as I realize what I’ve done.

I blinded her.

My hands shake, the veins beneath my skin still glowing. Rowan and Amír rush into the room, Derrín close at their heels.

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