Page 30 of I Promise You
I mentally slap myself.
He pulls his shirt back down and I unglue my eyes from him.
“Whatever. Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Slaughter.” I have to stop myself from flashing a smile. I know I’m being a sore loser,but again, I wear my heart on my sleeve, not caring if he can see how competitive I can be sometimes.
I walk toward my porch, leaving the area where I lost myself in an intense game against a SEAL. Kane follows me with a smug look, grabbing his leather jacket from the grass and throwing it over his shoulder.
“For someone so tiny, you’re a sore loser.”
“I am not!” I lie through a high-pitched defensive tone.
I bite the side of my cheek, pouting.
“You are, but it’s okay. It’s cute.”
My heart pounds with complication as I sit on the wooden steps leading to my front door and hold the ball onto my lap. My heart rate is all over the place from all the back-and-forth running, or it couldalsobe from the man who’s always been there for me since Paul’s funeral.
He needs to stop saying these things, yet I can’t seem to stop him from doing so.
He sits next to me, and I scooch further away from him, making sure there’s distance between us. Kane has never been shy about his interest in taking our relationship to the next level, but I’ve never wanted to take it further. I was heavy in grieving. I was freshly single from an abusive relationship and now? I’m with a man I’m so in love with yet unsure of the truths I know he’s hiding from me.
And Kane is close friends with Danny. It’s wrong…
“Ari, I really admire how strong you are. No matter what you go through, you manage to always push through.”
My heart skips a beat as those profound words leave his mouth. He can’t be saying these things to me because I know he wants more from me. I can feel it. A cold breeze brushes through us, making me shudder as I hold the ball.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. I really do. I can’t thank you enough for always being there whenever you could when Pauldied. It means a lot to my mother and I. I just needed a break from everything.”
I give him a friendly smile and turn toward him. But it’s a mistake because now he looks at me intensely, and I can’t move. I haven’t been kissed on the mouth in over a month. Danny has been giving me the space I need, and I’m so grateful for it, but at this moment. I’m about to lose control. Kane has engraved a special place in my heart because of his consistency throughout my grieving.
“I’m always going to be here for you.” Kane leans closer, and I stop breathing as his face approaches mine. He’s looking at my lips…and so I look at his.
I fucking miss kissing so severely. I miss the feeling of losing myself to someone. I miss losing myself when my lips crash devastatingly onto Danny’s with impenetrable lust. I miss the surface of my heart erupting into a fire of craze that could never be put out.
I miss it so much.
I miss all of these things.
I close my eyes and let myself get lost in this forbidden feeling, but I don’t lean in. I trust myself. I know what I want and this isn’t it. I know what I have to do.
I can feel his body heat now, so I shut my eyes even tighter and frown. When I open my eyes, his breath hits my lips. He’s so close to kissing me.
This is not who I miss.
I miss Danny. I don’t want this from Kane. I crave the man who takes my breath away with just one look.
I’m not doing this. I’m not a liar.
I let my head fall, leaning away from Kane’s lips.
A low groan escapes him as his body clenches. The air transforms into bitter tension. We were about to kiss, and he knows it.
We both know it.
“This is wrong. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be here,” I tell Kane as I stand, getting away from him fast.
What am I doing?
