Page 45 of Diverge

ME

The meeting ends, and everyone is back at their desks. I look at my inbox, and dread seeps into my bones.

Two hundred unread emails. How will I ever get through these emails by the end of the dayandcomplete my task list?

Truth is, I probably can, but I really don’t fucking want to.

I hate this job, I hate the people I work with, and I absolutely fucking hate this place.

It’s like subjecting yourself to toxicity every single day for the next forty years. I groan at the thought that I probably won’t be able to retire until I’m seventy. What a waste of a life, sitting behind a desk, taking orders.

“Don’t you just love donut day?” Laura’s smile grows as she watches the delivery guys bring boxes of donuts into the kitchen.

Yeah, cause donuts make up for all the unpaid overtime we work and the minimal holidays we get.

“It’s the best.” I give her a sarcastic smile, although I doubt she catches on as she grabs her mug and makes her way into the kitchen.

The rest of the day drags on as I slowly make my way through my emails and task list. I’m nowhere near finished as five o’clock creeps up. Grabbing my stuff, I make my way to my car and drive the short drive to Finn’s office. Everyone besides Finn has left by the time I arrive. He’s waiting for me as soon as I step through his office doors.

“Hey.” He smiles and gestures for me to take a seat.

“Hi.” I place my things on the floor, the silence between us deafening.

After a long couple of minutes, he apologises.

“I want to apologise for my behaviour that night. I’ve thought about it, and it wasn’t right how I acted. I don’t want to use the excuse of being drunk, so I won’t.” I purse my lips at his apology. “But I won’t apologise for loving you. I won’t apologise for wanting to be the only man for you, thebestman for you. I won’t apologise for wanting you all to myself, and I sure as hell will not apologise for trying to win you back.”

Sighing, I pick at the skin around my nails as nervousness jitters below the surface of my skin.

“You cannot tell me that you don’t still feel something for me because I feel it. I feel it in the way you look at me, the way you push me away,” He continues.

“But...” I start to speak, but he doesn’t let me finish.

“But you love Nathan.” He finishes my sentence for me as my eyes drift to his.

“I do, but...”

“But you also love me.” He reaches across his desk and places his hand on mine, sending a tingle from my fingers to my chest. My breath hitches as my eyes find his.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Tears well up in my eyes at the impossible decision looming above my head.

“I can’t speak for Nathan, but I will always love you, B.” He brings my hand to his lips and lays a soft kiss on my knuckles. “You will always be a part of me, whether I am on this side of the earth or the other, it makes no difference. You will always have my heart and my soul.”

Standing, he walks over to me. Holding my hands, he helps me up out of the chair.

“You deserve someone who knows you, who can take care of you. I can be that for you and so much more.” His scent crashes into me like a tidal wave, our bodies mere inches away from each other.

His eyes are soft, caring, almost yearning as they hover over my lips. Slowly, I place my hands on his chest, feeling his hard muscles underneath his button-up shirt. My heart beats stupidly fast as he leans in, pressing his lips on mine, his arms wrapping around my waist to pull me in. I close my eyes, my arms wrapping around his neck, hands intertwining in his hair. Parting my mouth, his tongue slips inside and tastes just like I remember it.

Sweet, like the summer air you breathe, like home.

He kisses me hard, and I pull him in, not wanting this kiss to end. Our bodies flush with one another as we devour each other like it was the first time we’ve ever kissed. Our tongues tangle for dominance, fighting a war inside our mouths. Warmth spreads through my chest, sending a zing of fire to my cheeks. My mind feels foggy as I feel his mouth move against mine.

Breaking the kiss, his forehead falls onto mine.

“I’ve waited a decade to taste these lips once more,” he whispers but as soon as we stop kissing, all I can think about is Nate. All I can see in front of me is him, and I know I need to speak to him to tell him everything and just be honest with him.

Who the fuck am I?

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